05 March 2007

Today's car bombing...

Without fail, my mornings seem to all start with three little words... "today's car bombing..."

Between the time I get out of the shower and the time I'm halfway dressed, I hear on the radio from either an NPR reporter or a BBC reporter or a WTOP reporter - those three words. They're usually followed by the words "in Baghdad" or "in" some city or terrority that until 3 years ago I had never even heard of, like - Baaj, or Ramadi, or Sadr city. Then I hear the numbers - 10 dead; 18 dead; 27 dead; 40 dead and 39 injured; 68 injured; 104 injured.

Then I find myself hit with a wave of guilt, confusion and anger.

Guilt - because while I was in the shower, chances are I was bothered by the pain-in-the-ass E-mails and voicemails that I know are waiting for me in the office. Chances are, that deep down in the back of my mind I was hoping that I might come across gasoline at less than $2.22 a gallon so that I could fill up my American made SUV. Chances are, that I wouldn't eat a healthy chicken salad for lunch if the guys wanted to go out and get greasy steak and cheese subs.

These are the worries of my day. Shame on me.

Somewhere, halfway across the world while I was sleeping in my warm and toasty bed, some Iraqi men and women were in a market buying fruit, or bread, or batteries and some savage, mindless, bloodthirtsy monster pulled alongside them and detonated 50 pounds of high explosives wrapped in 70 pounds of metal nuts and bolts.

Somewhere, halfway across the world while I was sleeping in my warm and toasty bed, 78 men in the twenties and thirties lined up outside of an Iraqi police station. They had decided to risk their lives and take a stake in what could be The New Iraq. They were ready to join the police force. This is, until a dark blue Toyota Camry loaded with fertilizer, gunpowder and hand grenades plowed into their line mere seconds before blowing up in a bright yellow flaming mushroom cloud.

Somewhere, halfway across the world while I was sleeping in my warm and toasty bed, several dozen Iraqi boys and girls were playing outside of their elementary school when some innocent looking teenager with a backpack slung over his shoulder walked among the children. He probably gave them a slight smile of innocence envy as he pushed the trigger in his pants pocket closing a small circuit and exploding the nine pounds of semtex and five pounds of ball bearings in his backpack.

Somewhere, halfway across the world while I was sleeping in my warm and toasty bed, six US Marines and seven US soldiers were conducting a vehicle checkpoint east of the green zone when two men in a beat-up Honda Accord pulled up to them. One of the Marines told him to turn his vehicle off and pop his trunk. The man complied and leaned forward whispering a silent thank you to Allah. Sensing his fate, the Marine called to his fellow troops, yelling for them to "get down!" But his words were lost in the roar of 100 pounds of high explosives doing the one thing they were made to do.

And I'm worried about some damn E-Mails and steak subs. GUILT.

I found something interesting as I typed this post. If you go to Google and select NEWS links and type these three words "suicide, bomber, Iraq" you get OVER 8800 hits. If you type in "car bomb Iraq" you get over 12,000 hits. I find this absolutely amazing. Amazing and horrifying.

This is where my confusion and anger comes into play. This situation [like DARFUR] is a complete human tragedy. The numbers of dead, dying and injured is so high and it is growing so fast, that I find myself numb with anger. This conflict is so mindless and was so avoidable. The shame it has brought to our once great country. The disregard of the lives of our brave men and women who voluteered to serve our nation, by George Bush and the countless Washington bureaucrats. The victimizing and murdering of hundreds of thousands of Iraqi men, women and children. The violent bloodlust of sectarian madmen who kill in the name of their God and who kill in defense of how THEY think their God should be worshipped. It is frustrating, it is disgusting, it is inhuman, it is devastating, it is all here again... in... today's car bombing.



onefromphilly said...

And the part that drives me crazy is when I hear the news commentator say " the deadliest day for American soldiers since..."
It always since a few days or weeks ago. They act like it's some significant amount of time... WTH??
I really feel like I can't take much more of this. We have got to get our troops out of Iraq.

This Bush's legacy is one of incompetance, and disgrace that we will all pay the price for years.

Gunfighter said...

For posts like this, you got one of these. Didn't you read this yet?


Tsiporah said...

Great post. I also feel guilty when I find myself thinking about things that seems so insignificant in the grand scheme of things. I just wish there was something I could do that would make a difference.

Anali said...

I feel the guilt too. I read the news every morning and see numbers like 50 dead, 100 dead, 73 wounded. And then I read the next article and have some coffee, but these were individuals who meant the world to someone, family and friends, who are grieving at the news of the death or injury of loved ones. It's so wrong.

Gunfighter said...


Don't be consumed with guilt as long as you opposed, and continue to oppose the policies that made all of this possible.

I understand grief, I grapple with it daily... but DON'T FEEL GUILTY.

CreoleInDC said...

I have to admit to having perfect moments and then I hear something like this and I feel guilty. I was shopping yesterday and was about to pick up a purse and then I remembered the plight of our soldiers in trying to get medical treatment after serving in this war. It made me think that maybe I should send the money to one of the outreach programs working to help the soldiers at Walter Reed.

The fact that we have guilt shows who we are. The fact that we can't be completely comfortable knowing what we know is happening gives me hope that there are more our there like us and that one day soon...things are gonna change.

Thank you for writing this. I'm going to send some folks over if you don't mind.

Love you baby brother. You are always doing what you SHOULD be doing. THINKING.

CreoleInDC said...

Email me puhleeze. I'd like to invite you and the family over to dinner and I don't have your email addy on the new puter.


DJ Black Adam said...

Man TBM, I feel you. Stuff like that is why I wrote this:


Hope it helps, its hard to keep thee things in perspective sometimes.

Anonymous said...

You're not the only one who feels guilt when you see those images or hear those stories... but at least you are aware of not only yourself, but others too, some people come away from watching the news still not giving a shit. So that makes you a good person.

And by writing about this you may have just helped in a very small indirect way. I'm sure this post has given a new perspective to many and perhaps even forced some to re-evaluate their views and ways of thinking about certain things going on today.

Knowing that you have no choice but to smile ok?! So try not feel too bad about it and ust keep doing what you're doing and keep writing cuz I love coming round to see what you got to say,

Nuff love,

x mwah x

telly serone said...

we can be thankful, here in tha u.s., that we dont live in a society such as exists in countries like iraq. despite the amount uv violence we r subject 2 in our livez in this country, we dont expect 2 experience a car bombin or suicide bombin once a day.
it breaks my heart that our president would put thousandz uv his own country's citizens in harms way 4 an unclear agenda.

B. Good said...

Thanks for putting things in perspective.

The Thinking Black Man said...

Hey there ONEFROMPHILLY! I've noticed that presentation of elapsed time too when presenting our losses.

"The worst day for US troops, since last Monday..."

If historians don't look back and label George Bush as the worst US President ever, I'll spend eternity rolling over in my grave!!!

Thanks GUNFIGHTER!!! Please check out my next post!!!

TSIPORAH, hello!!!

Thank you for the kind words. I feel helpless too about this - but many of us tried to make a difference on election day in 2000 and 2004, but treachery and good lawyers stole our good intentions. >: (

{thats supposed to be my angry face!}

Hello ANALI My Sista!

That human factor is what I have a hard time with too. These are peoples friends and family, husbands and wives, mothers, sons... EVERY DAY. It's so unthinkable, it's so unnecessary.

Thanks again GUNFIGHTER, I think we all need to remember that. Otherwise I think many of us will just go - crazy!!!

Hey there My Sista' CREOLEINDC!

I have these moments all the time too. Along with the suffering of our troops and the Iraqi people, I also find myself having a quite rage over the fact that NO ONE in the BUSH WHITE HOUSE will ever be truly accountable for any of this human wrong doing. No one.

Thanks for the offer! Lemme' holler at the missus and get back with you.

DJ BLACK ADAM! What's up brother?

I'm gonna check your post tonight! I've been offline for a few days now.


Thank you so much for these kind words! You've made my day!

It's very humbling to think [and hope] that some people, some where, may read my post(s) and take a moment to care a little more about the suffering and losses of troops and civilians in Iraq.


Welcome to my blog and thanks for your comment!

I'm with you! I just couldn't imagine the fear of having car bombs or backpack bombs being a part of my everyday routine.

Terror is such a powerful weapon. But what is going on in Iraq is NOT terror per se, in my opinion. TERROR is [to me] using a small amount of violence to instill a large mount of fear in people. These daily bombings are mass murder plain and simple! They are just people killing and killing and killing and never looking up from the smoke to see if anyone wants to reach some kind of accord or reach some kind of peace.

Plain old insanity. Nothing more.

Hey B. GOOD! Thank you so much for your comment. I think I blog to help MYSELF keep perspective in this crazy mixed up world!