11 June 2007

My marriage is over...

You know, all good things must come to an end.

Over the last 8 years there were some really great moments that will stay with me forever. And then there were some downright dreadful times that I wish I could forget and yet I probably never will.

I was very loyal, I mean - loyal to a fault sometimes. My commitment made me miss some other things that I really wanted to be a part of of, but there I was week in and week out, month in and month out, year in and year out.

And in the end, all my wife could say was, "I'm sorry sweetie."

"I'm sorry sweetie."

I know she meant it from the bottom of her heart, but it didn't take away my disappointment. It didn't take away the hurt. It didn't make me feel like less of a fool.

I should have walked away three years ago, before my son was born. Then he too, wouldn't have had to see the sadness in his fathers eyes. I'm just not the same man I was three years ago. Now I'm bitter and jaded. I've been teased, taunted and strung along. I think the term I'm looking for is "played like a fiddle."

I was there through it all:
-The thing on the boat five years ago...
-That dreadful Columbus Day parade...
-That night, lost in the woods in knee deep snow...
-The trip to Italy...
-The new house by the woods...

And what do I get in return?

The worst series finale in television history!

I have to say - MY TELEVISION DIDN'T LAND ON TONY SOPRANO, TONY SOPRANO LANDED ON MY TELEVISION!

Eight years ago, I remember it like it was yesterday. The opening scene showed a much younger and much smaller Tony Soprano watching some ducks landing on his pool at the old house. He walked out to get a closer look and they flew away. He passed out. This was his first of many stress induced blackouts that drove him into the office of Dr. Jennifer Melfi.

My loyalty to the Sopranos over the last eight years is very much like a real marriage, you have to be faithful and supportive, you have to forsake all other shows [in the same time slot], you have to listen carefully and understand what is going on, but most of all you have to take the good with the bad. Unfortunately, the last three seasons have ranged from boring to awful to terrible. I think David Chase and the other writers and people behind the scenes have taken the loyalty of us Sopranos fans for granted. I think they just figured they could throw any mis-mash of storylines and artsy-fartsy perspective together and call it "an episode." Well, that's just what they did, and my stupid-self, I kept watching and hoping that something special was still yet to come. It never did.

As the last season pulled along slowly and painfully, I knew that time was running out for a stellar mind blowing ending. For whatever reason, Chase tried to develop the loathsome, boring son of Tony Soprano, (Anthony Jr.) in the last 7 episodes. This is something that should have been attempted six years ago while anybody still gave a damn. At this point, nobody cared about AJ. When he tried to kill himself a few weeks ago, I was hoping that he'd succeed just so we could get him out of the way, but even at that, he couldn't get the job done.

I was so burnt out heading into last night's series finale, I had said that only one thing would make me like the show, that would have been for Silvio Dante to be awake from his coma and listening to "Hungry Heart" by Bruce Springsteen when Tony walked in to visit him. Then I wanted Sil to say, "Hey Ton', you know, that Bruce Springsteen, he's got a really good band." This would have been classic because Steven Van Zandt, the actor who plays Silvio, plays guitar in Bruce's E Street Band. But, even that was too much to ask.

So, last night, my eight year marriage to Tony Soprano, Sil, Dr. Melfi, Chris, Paulie Walnuts, Uncle June, Bobby Bacala, Meadow, and The Bing came to a close with a sad little whimper, a whimper and a squish.

When it was done, I was sad. I felt stupid for sticking with a once great show for three years after its greatness left. I sat there in stunned silence. My wife knew I was crushed, so she patted me on my leg and said, "I'm sorry sweetie."

I was too.

TTBM

21 comments:

B. Good said...

I don't know what to say. I suppose there's nothing to be said. Woo Woo Woo, to you and your family.


***i just started watching the Sopranos. I'm in Season 2. When should I stop watching?***

The Thinking Black Man said...

Hi B. GOOD!

When Furio leaves, so should you. So, you've got a little while.

If you meet Kevin Finnerty, you've stayed FAR FAR too long.

: )

jameil1922 said...

po thang. never could get into that show but heard about the horrendous end. pitiful. didn't ever get seinfeld but he had a point about going out on a high note.

Charming Driver said...

The Sopranos lost me a long time ago because it was sooooo freakin long between seasons but OMG you had me going with the whole divorce thing! EVERYONE still watching seems to be pissed!

Angela Z said...

I am new to your blog and find it very interesting. I was also reading a few of your older posts and wish to comment on this one and Blaxsploitation 2K7. As an Italian American female, I am completely estatic that the Soprano's are history....done. As you commented on how you don't like how African American females are portrayed on telivision, I absolutely despise how my peeps were "protrayed" on the Soprano's and several other sit-coms. I guess if the Soprano's were just a "normal" Italian-American family that didn't have any connection to the "mob", it would not have rendered nearly the amount of viewers. Unfortunately, explotation sells.....unfortunately.

Great post, btw......I actually, initially, thought you were going through a divorce. I am glad I stopped by.

Ciao, Angie

Tasha said...

I really thought you were getting a divorce for a second!!

I was into the Sopranos for the first 3 or 4 seasons but then lost interest because of the long time between seasons. I heard about the awful ending, and all I can do is offer my condolences for having lost your time to watching the finale.

B. Good said...

Oh, so this isn't about your family at all? Yeah, I was had. You have a WAY with words......

Mizrepresent said...

Excellent post...and being a fan since the beginning, i'm with you...this season stunk the worst...and the finale...well, when the screen went black, i jumped up and started pushing buttons on the tv, thinking my satellite went out, i blew a tube...but no the Soprano's creators and writers blew it....and there were credits....

DJ Black Adam said...

That ending was sooooooo BOGUS!!!


grumble.....

dcsavvystar said...

This was so well written - I thought you were on the way to divorce court!

The finale was HORRIBLE.. I almost cried when the daughter took forever to park the car, and for what? nothing!

Angela L. Braden said...

TTBM: Don't do that anymore... You really had me upset. I really, seriously thought you were getting a divorce. And I was really sad for you. I was sad for your family.

And although I'm relieved, I'm still a little shook up by the feeling that dropped in my gut when I first started reading your post. I must admit you're a clever little devil. (smile)

Why did I get upset for a moment when I thought you were really getting a divorce from your wife and child? Well, I guess it's because I want our black families to be successful. I want us to love each other and raise healthy families. And for some strange reason, I was upset that a brother that I don't even know or know his name, was possibly going to be separated from his family. (I think I need a vacation. lol)

Well, I'll catch you on your next post.

BTW: It was an honor to have The Thinking Black Man to visit my lil' ol' blog. Thanks for dropping by.

Angie

Bygbaby said...

Damn, for a minute, I as like I feel you Brotha! Is still feel you, that lats episode was like a orgasm that sis not happen.

Bygbaby

Gunfighter said...

You had me for a minute there, dude!

I have never seen the show, so I can't commiserate... but I feel for you, man.

GF

Gunfighter said...

By the way... did you know that you were mentioned at DC Blosg the other day?

Heavenly Zeta said...

I have to say, I never bothered to watch this show...for whatever reason, it never appealed to me. HBO shows seem to be that way for me-and the very few I have bothered to watch from the beginning-they cancel. I'm sorry that you were one of the MANY disappointed fans-that's ALL I've been hearing about over the last few days on talk radio...

The Thinking Black Man said...

Hello JAMEIL1922, yeah, this was just a shameful ending. At least with Seinfeld a lot of old characters were brought back and it was sort of enjoyable.

Hey CHARMING DRIVER- That whole 18+ month gap between those two seasons was horrible. It ALMOST lost me. And looking back, I should have left at that point.

ANGELA Z Hello, there.

Thanks for the comment. It is a shame how exploiting bad sterotypes seems to be the low-road to getting TV ratings. I often have much more respect for TV shows that get lower ratings but manage to take the higher road when it comes to its representation of people. Thanks again for stopping by!

Hey there TASHA! Ahhhh, it felt like a divorce! : )

Yeah, I was just playin' around B. GOOD.

onefromphilly said...

I'm one of the suckers that stayed in there for 8 years! *sigh*
But unlike everybody else, i laughed at the series finale. Cause we got just what we deserved..NOTHING! hahahaha suckers..... hahahaha.. and I'm one of them....hahahahahaha

But didn't anybody but me think that Pauli and the cat was funny?

The Thinking Black Man said...

Hello there, MIZREPRESENT!

Everyone I spoke to all thought the same thing - either the satellite went out or the cable went out. I've since read that David Chase said that his ending was "artistic" and since that was HIS show, he could end it any way he wanted to.

Just don't let me see HIM at a GAS STATION!

What's up, DJ BLACK ADAM?

BOGUS, was the 7th word I used to describe the show! : )

Hi DCSAVVYSTAR! Thanks! That whole thing with Meadow was an even bigger tease than the others sitting around the table. I kept saying, "Meadow is gonna' get shot." And then... nuthin'.

Hi there ANGELA I. BRADEN. Thanks for the luv - I didn't mean to shake you up. : )

I love your blog!

What's up BYGBABY?

Man - THAT is the perfect way to describe that show. The absolute PERFECT way to put it.

Hey Brother, what's up GUNFIGHTER? I was just havin' some fun. : )

I saw the link in DC Blogs - that's humbling to me! I love this blog thing we have!

Hey ONEFROMPHILLY. I agree with you! But right now, I'm too disappointed to laugh - maybe next month I'll think about it. But, this is why I bailed on LOST last season - I know that show is headed towards something like this.

Native Son said...

ThinkingBM: Man I am sorry to hear about your marriage. But there are lessons to be learned out of every experience. I hope you and your wife can part ways with learning what those lessons were, and cherish the fact that you have a healthy young black boy that I am sure is the focual point of both of your lives. Be strong my brotha

Native Son said...

LOL okay I didn't read your post all the way through playa...lol I was sitting up here thinking you were getting t divorce from your wife; you talking about the damn Sopranos..LOL I stopped watching the Sopranos almost 3 years ago so I was completly out of the loop wit hthe finale

CreoleInDC said...

I don't watch the show...but I just want you to know that I hate you cuz for a minute I was like...WTH?????

ROFL!