I'm still pretty stunned about the death of yet another young Black man to pointless, stupid violence.
I'm a Redskins fan, and for the last few weeks my biggest concern was the fact that we've been playing so badly that we were going to miss the playoffs yet again. I was disgusted with The Great Joe Gibbs, I was disgusted with the play calling, I was disgusted with the poor execution I was seeing by a group of men that I was so loyal to. I was so disgusted with the Redskins that I refused to even watch their recent game against the Buccaneers. Then, Monday morning, suddenly everything took a back seat.
I was on the Internet at google.com checking headlines when "Redskin's Sean Taylor shot in home" popped up. I whispered, "Damn." and clicked on the story. "Okay, a leg wound. He should be okay," I foolishly thought. I followed the story all day online. All I kept hearing was "He's in a coma and in critical condition." I actually thought to myself on Monday night - He'll be fine. He'll be upgraded to serious in the morning and by Saturday there will be pictures of him smiling with doctors and nurses and signing autographs for sick kids in the children's ward. I assumed he'd miss the rest of the season and come back next pre-season as the Redskins Golden-Boy with smashing tackles and crazy interceptions." Yeah, he'll be fine.
Then Tuesday morning I turned on the radio next to the bed and they were talking about him in the past tense. "He was a talented player..." "He had this kind of spirit..." "He was well liked by..." And I thought, "Damn, why are they talking about him like he's dead. That's pretty thoughtless." With a knot forming in my stomach I went into the guest room and turned on the TV and there it was on channel 5, "Sean Taylor, 1983 - 2007" You could have knocked me over with a feather. I called to my wife, "Sean Taylor died!"
Just then my 3 year old son walked in, coincidentally wearing a Redskins jersey over his pajamas, and asked in a sleepy voice as he sat down next me, "Why did he die?"
What could I say?
I looked at him, then the TV, and then him again and I put my arm around him and said, "Because a very bad person hurt him. And that's why he died." My son looked satisfied with my answer. I don't believe he fully grasps the concept of death and dying, and I guess at this point that is kind of a good thing - maybe.
I'm just stunned.
The police are saying that right now his shooting looks random, but I believe that like I believe George Bush is a good president. I think that is a police ploy to capture the shooter. I don't believe this was a random crime. I'm confident that the person [or persons] that did this knew that was Sean Taylor's home, I'm confident they knew he was home, and I'm confident that he was a target for whatever reason. I think if someone just wanted to steal something, they wouldn't break into a bedroom and start shooting - they would avoid contact and flee. Or if they were startled they would run and just start shooting blindly during their excape. I'm sure that Sean's killer knew him and knew he was home. I truly hope that they bring him to justice!
I was so pissed off over the 'Skins not making the playoffs this year that I had vowed not to watch another single game. Now I can hardly give a damn. I feel for those guys. I feel for the whole organization. Football is just a game, a sport - life is REAL. Life is joy and strength and faith and happiness and pain and sorrow. Life is real and life is what is important. I'm ashamed that I had forgotten that on Sunday afternoons.