29 August 2006
Black Men / White Women (Revisited)
I've talked about the subject of interracial dating before and until this past weekend, I figured it would be awhile before I brought it back up. Then I found myself at the mall with my family...
My wife and myself and our kids were at a local mall and we stopped in the food court to get some lunch. The county we were in at the time was a majority white county, but there were people of all races walking about and shopping. While we were eating I happened to notice that we were the only Black "nuclear" family that I could see. Now, I'm 100% certain that there were other Black mothers, fathers and children around the mall - but from where I was sitting, all that could be seen were White and Latino nuclear families, us, and several tables with just women and children... and then there were the two tables with Black fathers (husbands) and White mothers (wives) and a total of seven bi-racial kids.
There are several things about Black men and White women that baffle me, but seeing these familes I couldn't help but ponder one specific issue: Do Black men have ANY standards beyond the color of skin when they choose to date White women?
Sure, I assume some Brothers date pretty White women, but the women I saw this weekend, and the vast majority of other White women with Black husbands/boyfriends that I have seen over the years - are largely, unattractive, out-of-shape, and unappealing looking. It's as if these Black men say to themselves, "I want a white woman! I don't care what she looks like as long as she's white! She can be fat! She can be homely! She can be dim-witted! She can be unemployed - JUST AS LONG AS SHE'S WHITE! Gimme' dem White Girlz!"
I, honest-to-God think that is what MANY of these Black men say to themselves. I've run this past my close friends just to make sure I wasn't crazy and they [all Black men] feel the same way I do! All these women have to be is - White. And, the amazing thing is, these Brothers - if they were to ever look at a Sister - they would have a million conditions on her looks: She's gotta be sexy like Melyssa; have thighs like Serena; have eyes like Beyonce; a body like Ki-Toy; and legs like Tina! All this non-sense that is impossible to find in ONE WOMAN! But damn-it if they won't take just any old White woman.
Now, I'm not bashing White women with this commentary, but I am bashing the Brother's that see nothing more than White skin when they go out and choose a girlfriend, or wife or even baby-mama. Frankly I think this shallow, colorcentric desire is pathetic - it is a slap in the face to our women, our mothers, and to those countless Black men that were beaten, tortured and lynched for as little as a rumor that they looked at a White woman.
Meanwhile - the opposite trend is still holding true with regards to White men and Black women. Nine times out of ten, I find myself at a loss for words when I see White men with Sisters. These women tend to be the literal cream of our crop. I very rarely see White men with unattractive Black women. Quite often, our women that they choose are nothing short of stunning.
Now, with all this being said - I do want to put in a small qualifier. I don't think that every Black man with a White woman [as Wife, Girlfriend or Date] has issues against Black women, nor are they all with these women JUST for their skin color. I completely believe that True Love knows no color, and sometimes you just can't control or choose who you fall in love with. So, this commentary doesn't really apply to them. HOWEVER, I think the Brother's who devalue Black women and then so proudly sport White women on their arms, are desperate, sad, and confused individuals.