Nevaeh spelled backwards is heaven.
I wish I didn't know that.
I've been saying it to myself all day.
I've been saying it all day because I heard it on the news a few days ago.
Nevaeh spelled backwards is heaven.
(see, there I go again)
The reason I keep thinking about this cute little name, which happened to belong to a three year old girl named Nevaeh Wanzer, is because little Nevaeh died yesterday. She died three days after an incredibly brutal beating at the hands of her mother's boyfriend.
The human pancreas is an interesting organ. In a three year old it is probably the length and size of an adult middle finger [give or take]. It is wedged between the large intesines, stomach, heart, lungs and kidneys. Pretty snug. Nevaeh's was RIPPED during her savage beating.
The trauma to her head was so severe that she suffered a stroke in BOTH halves of her brain.
Nevaeh spelled backwards is heaven.
The monster that did this to her is named Fateh Shafeek, the 30 year old live in baby-daddy to Nevaeh's mama's youngest child who is one year old. According to reports, Nevaeh took some scissors and cut some of her little sisters hair. This asshole, Fateh chose to discipline the three year old by choking and beating her until she passed out. From the pictures I've seen of this asshole, Fateh, he looks like a burned out drug-head. He looks like a human piece of shit.
Okay maybe I'm just bitter and angry because I 'm a parent and I know that there is no way heaven (which is Nevaeh spelled backwards) that I will have the opportunity to be alone in a room for three minutes with Fateh and my 5-iron. I picked three minutes because Nevaeh was three years old! But, I doubt if I would ever have a chance to show him how the last few minutes of her life felt. I doubt that I would ever have a chance to see if I could rip his pancreas or cause a double stroke in his brain. I kinda' think I could,
This kind of thing probably happens everyday in this country and is only reported in the Maryland, DC, Virginia region every few months. I know that no one is pyschic, and very few people can look into another's eyes and see them for the evil that they are. But I always ask myself, didn't these mothers get a sense that these men like Fateh are monsters? I know EVERY mother can't tell that her man is a nut case, but can't some tell? I mean, why do some mothers turn a blind eye to troubled men. Why are some mothers more concerned about losing a man than losing a child?
Nevaeh's Grandfather told people that he didn't trust Fateh, and had tried to get his daughter to leave him. But, no - she stayed with him. Now, I'm not saying she knew this guy would kill her baby, but this guy had a history of violence and frankly he looked like he had some screws loose. What made her stay with him. Didn't she feel it in the air? Didn't she feel the danger, the threat, the anger in the air.
Am I just crazy?
Am I just devastated that this little girl spent the last few minutes of her conscious life in sheer terror, being choked, punched, shook and pounded into darkness?
Am I angry that I can't do the same to him?
Am I angry that her mother brought Neveah's killer into her home?
I don't know...
But, do you know what I do know...
I know Nevaeh spelled backwards is heaven.
TABM-
26 comments:
I have friend named who's little girl's name is Nevaeh-- He always says it Heaven spelled backwards. This is so heartbreaking...I hope this guy gets serious time for this. I am sure that this little angel is in Heaven--where she belongs. God bless her.
I can't imagine how she could be anyplace else.
I hope those pretty little eyes don't stay with me too long.
Peace, Black Sage-
That is so horrible. And unfortunately way too frequent. When I hear these things, it still shocks me, even though I guess it shouldn't after a while. Maybe our ability to continue to be shocked is what keeps us human, sane, sensitive. The mother stayed, because she probably didn't want to be alone. I think many women do that.
TTBM.
Take comfort.
Little Nevaeh is most definately in Heaven.
As for Fateh.
Hopefully he will be convicted, live to go to prison and there he will face the justice of the prison world.
Don't think it won't happen?
Let's just say I know of people who know of some other people who are serving time and if they can have themselves transferred to a particular unit (under certain conditions, and if approved by the warden and the prison system) and can get close to their "intended", to "take that someone out", then it is not impossible for this to happen in Fateh's case.
Happens all the time in prisons; many people just don't know or hear about it.
Yep.
There's nothing like prison justice.
TTBM--A little warning is in order before reading my comments because I have a different take on this than other commenters, so hear me out.
It's stories like this that make me think that maybe the Chinese are right in their practice of female infanticide. The thing is that if men cannot bring themselves to wholeheartedly support female EMPOWERMENT, which means destroying patriarchial, sexist structures and if the vast majority of women in the world cannot bring themselves (and they can't)to fight tooth and nail against these patriarchial and sexist structures that oppress females, then maybe it's best that more females not exist because what killed this child was that her mother did not feel empowered.
A woman who stays with a man like this is NOT an empowered woman, so there are many children just waiting to be victims. A mother or woman like this does not feel or believe she has power over her life, the power to make changes in her life, the power to take an ax to a man like this, the power to think of her entire life differently, the power to say I don't need ANY man if I can't get one to treat me like a queen.
Unfortunately a very large proportion of women in the world are like this to some extent and they thus allow atrocities like this to happen to their children. Though this was a brutal, physical assault on this baby, there are numerous sexual and other atrocities inflicted on children even as you read this by predatory males that go unreported--assaults that kill a child's spirit, and we do know that the body is the last to go. Now whose fault is this?
This has always happened and always will happen to children whose mothers don't feel empowered. This is one of the reasons why I would think ALL men who have good intentions and women too should be feminists or womanists or whatever -ist that would support the empowering of women fast, quick and in a hurry!
Female infanticide is so horribly wrong on so many levels, but just to get basic about the whole thing, if there are less women there will be less people and we will all die out.
We don't want to blame and eliminate the victim. Women definitely do need to feel more empowered and that would prevent situations like this. There is no way that this woman did not know that this man was up to no good before the murder. She just didn't WANT to know it.
Female infanticide is so horribly wrong on so many levels,
Yes, I agree it's horribly wrong, but women are just USED so badly. We're human beings yet most women in the world are so OPPRESSED and many of us--even in the West--are treated like we're not fully human. I remember how I had a conversation years ago with an African man here, pointing out to him that his wife was exhausted, had a bad headache, and didn't feel like making his fu-fu ( a food) and suggested that he make it himself. He looked at me amazed, then said calmly, "No, she's fine. She'll make it." Well, sure enough the woman got up silently off the sofa, looked at me with a helpless expression in her eyes, and went in the kitchen and made the fu-fu. She knew she was the 'family slave."
This woman didn't feel she had a choice. She felt powerless and without choices because she was afraid the man would trade her in for another woman--one who would make his fu-fu and do anything else he wanted when he wanted it done. His culture gave him that choice and didn't provide any other choice for her. She was simply there for his use.
Now, I would have told him to kiss my rear end and if he tried to replace me, I would have replaced him first. She, however, didn't feel she had the power to do that and neither did little Nevaeh's mother.
&@**+#!
That was supposed to read "THY NAME IS MAN."
And if anyone reading this thinks that I have misandrist thoughts on men, nothing could be further from the truth.
I love men.
If I did not, I would be treating them the way many men treat women around the world.
Evia- The point you raise on Chinese Infanticide is very interesting. Admittedly, I'm going to have to think on that for a while. Thanks for sharing it!
Ann... I'm looking at some of what you're saying:
I am convinced that most, if not all men, have homo-erotic fantasies for each other...
When you black men have succeded in killing off most, if not all of us black women...
You think the men of these races are just going to stand idly by and just let you, black men, come and take their women after you have killed all of your women off? You think black women are some ever-running well that will one day not run dry?
You men want to tear the life out of women...
what all the death and destruction you have wrought on women has cost...
Most men do not love, appreciate or adore the "gift" that women are to them...
I'm not trying to be rude. I think it's rather cold to be hard on people that leave comments on my blog, but you have me scratching my head!
I've seen a lot of this man hating commentary from you on not just my blog and not just Evia's but on others. I really don't know how you could say you love men. FGrankly I think you are angry towards men, afraid of them, biased against them and deep down I think YOU think men owe you something.
You speak of men, especially Black like we are some sort of monsters that seek nothing more than the destruction and murder of everything with a vagina. I have to say, "Damn! Give us a break!" Sure, some guys are assholes. Some guys rape and murder. But damnit those are not crimes specific to the color of our skin.
I think you got screwed over by a Black man years ago. Either he said he loved you or he took physical advantage of you and you hate all of us for it. It is written all over your comments. In my opinion, he's an asshole for doing that to you.
But now, if you could close your eyes and describe a Black man, I would bet you'd see a red monster with bloody fangs a frowning face, claws, a tail and a huge three foot apendage. Ann, we are not the monsters of your nightmares.
My original post started with my anger behind the brutal murder of a baby, and somehow you've spun it into Black men hating, raping and killing every woman on the planet.
Can us brothers catch a break from you just this one night. Just this one night can we frown at the killer of a baby. I don't hate women, my buddies don't haet women - we love and repect them. We're NOT the man that hurt you back in the day, so don't make us pay for his crime.
Yes, I tore into black men in my post, but I also took on all men of other races, or did you not read all of my post on how women are treated around the world.
Yes I am damn angry at the way women have been treated in this world, and not just only black women.
I am sick and tired of women the world over being treated as if they are expendable, something to be taken for granted. And I would like for them to be given a break too.
Is it too much to ask that SOME men learn to appreciate women before one day it may be too late to do so?
Is it too much to ask that a man, no matter his race, come home and say to his wife: "I love you. Thank you for being in my life."
Is it too much for a man to say to his Mother: "Thank you for not only giving birth to me, but for always having faith in me and never giving up on me when the rest of the world has, many times."
Is it too much for a man to say to other men out there: "Those of you out there who use women and think there will be no repercussions for it, are lying to yourselves, and that you are making it hard for the rest of us men who are doing right by women."
Am I asking too much of men period?
I certinly hope not. But, maybe I want the inpossible. That all men the world over, and not the majority of men who are doing right by women, but those others who need to start appreciating the women in their lives before it is too late for them, and the woman.
So far I have not gone out of my way to use and abuse men. And whatever thoughts that are in a person's mind are that: thoughts.
How they treat people in the verbal (yes, I only let my thoughts out on the Internet, but I never say them to anyone verbally) world is one thing.
How they treat them in the physical and social is another. So far I have not used and abused any men no matter what their race, especially a black man. Maybe that is what is "blinding" me if you will to my anger; the fact that I have never f***ked over a man.
But, I am not averse to toning it down.
I will "let the brothers catch a break" from me from now on.
My real mistake was to have started to log onto blogs.
Should have just stuck with using the computer for educational purposes.
But, even that was painful.
The more I educated myself on the internet, the more I learned from the speed of information obtained, speed that often outdates books and newspapers by light-years, things that blew my mind.
But, I also learned things that restored my faith.
Yes, you are all not any men who have hurt me.
So no more tearing up all men.
Or as I will truthfully say (and yes, believe it or not, even I, Ann, can "woman up" when I see a reasonable man talking to me):
"No sense in shooting all the dogs because some of them have fleas."
And please TTBM, do not take offense at the "dog" reference in my quote of an old saying.
It is just better to give the dog a bath instead of always complaining about the fleas.
And please don't think that I am now calling all men "dogs." It's just an expression not to go overboard when faced with a problem that does not have to be blown out of proportion.
I must be the only woman in the world who has never called all men dogs, even to their face, or behind their backs. You can at least take my word for it on that one.
I am sure I will catch flak on the dog comment. Whatever.
Later.
No, I'm not going to make an issue of the dog comment, and yes I did read your entire comment.
I see that you mentioned different races of women and men - but my point remains the same.
You are painting MEN with one broad stroke of your brush. You speak as if ALL WOMEN have been victims and ALL MEN have been victimizers.
Regardless of how you try to present it, you are really writing off large numbers of men. You see us through angry squinted eyes. Your anger towards us has got to be eating you up inside. That bothers me. Not for my sake, but because you clearly hate us men as a whole, and I'm willing to bet this anger and fear has probably driven you away from the loving man that I bet [deep down] you really want.
It's like you EXPLODE at the opportunity to lash out at men. If someone where to say, "I burnt my toast this morning..." I'd almost expect you to blame men for the faulty construction of the toaster and had the farmer that harvested the wheat for the bread not beaten his wife the night before he harvested the grain it would not have been so easy to burn.
Your anger at us worries me for you. You even say that using the Internet for education is "PAINFUL" for you. To me, that screams of a person that needs a hug and needs some healing time - I hope you find a way to forgive men, because like I said - we are NOT the monsters in your nightmares.
BTW - I tell my wife everyday that I love and respect her - it is important to ME that she never forget that and that she knows I mean it. I treasure her. I love my Mother and I always make sure she knows that too. My Grandmother recently died and I loved her too, in fact I said those very words to her at her bedside just as she passed away. I say this because I consider myself a typical man. Loving the women in my life is nothing spectacular, I am confident that millions of men do the same things that I do everyday. We love our women, we treasure them. Please don't paint us all with your colors of anger.
This is a horrible story, yet it is one that is told everyday in this country. It seems like I constantly hear about men (and women) who tragically beat their kids, or treat their kids like animals. Women who become victims to these men, and consequently, whose children become victims to these men, are just that -- victims. Sadly, they probably grew up without the love of a father, which caused them to seek that love from other places, and to hang on to whatever bits of love they think they are receiving from a man. It is a vicious cycle that needs to be broken. However, until men start stepping up to the plate and being fathers, this is not going to happen. And although my daughter's father and I are not together, you will never hear me bad mouth him to her. Too many times, women use the hate they have for their "baby's daddy" against the children, and the children are the ones who really suffer because they end up having strained relationships with their fathers.
Black folks, we have to do whatever we can to end the cycle that prevents children from having two parents. Not necessarily two parents who are together (although that is ideal), but two parents who can function together to raise their kids right, reducing the possibility that their kids will end up f*#ked up!
--Notta
Nevaeh is Heaven spelled backwards. And Nevaeh is my friends daughter. She saw the signs and made a decision. Unfortunately, this one cost her childs life. I told Shay over and over. . . he is no good. You and your kids are worth more. Mom made a decision. She didn't even tell me until today. So ashamed. I'm so sorry for her. So sorry for littl Nevaeh. Her funeral is Thursday, and I will say good bye to the little princess.
Fateh dosn't deserve my words.
Thanks anonymous for leaving that comment. I'm glad you found my blog!!!
I've been talking about Nevaeh to everyone with an ear. For those of you that knew her, you have my most heartfelt sympathy.
It's just so tragic and so sad. What a little angel I imagine she was.
Take care, God Bless-
there is more ppl involved than this ONE person. There is so much more to this story and situation than any of YOU know. You can not believe EVERY dang on thing you read!Case in point,one report says she was beat with a hammer,another report says she was vomiting when she arrived at the hospital,the next report says she was unconscience when she arrived. All I am saying is that there is more than one side to this story. Come on now there are too many loop holes in this whole thing.I'm stating facts that any lawyer will state.
First off I would like to say my condolences to the family of Nevaeh Wanzer...Gods newest angel. My love and support to the Shafeek family that made me apart of the fam all those years ago. I am here for you!! Now I will get down to the nitty gritty here. I have yet to take the time to read all the posts. I am not defending Fateh or what he has been accused of doing. I am going to state some facts that some of you seem to be missing. Nevaeh was 3, I am a parent of 2 and never has my children slept past 9a at that age and still dont and they are 5 8. If everyone was so concerned about Nevaehs saftey b/c he was such a violent person why didnt the family have custody of Tahara...he has had her since birth because the mother DID NOT WANT children. The hospital saw all these bruises on Nevaehs body at 2:50 why didnt the mother see them at 11? Come on ppl, please think about things from both sides. There should be more than one person being held for this crime until everything is sorted out. Please do not believe everything you hear and read. Reports say she was beat with a hammer...wouldnt the mom have seen all that if this infact was the truth...and if she did why in the hell did it take her over 3 hours to take her to the hospital? Please dont be so quick tojudge,nobody knows exactly what happened in that house on that day.
This will be my first post here. This story hits home for me because I know this man personally. I have known him and his family for 14years. I am not here to justify or defend him in no way shape or form but he is not the only one that is at fault here. I was devastated when I heard the news. He has always been a good man...I nor anyone else can or will be able to explain what really happened in that apartment on that day. Things aren't adding up though. If the mother says she looked in on the child at 11...wouldn't she have noticed all the bruises that the Dr.s saw when she took her in at 2:50?? Why did it take her so long to take her child to the hospital? For a child to have been beaten this brutally this was or couldn't have been the first time this has happened!! Why didn't the neighbor that said she saw him violently shake Nevaeh last week call the cops then??
People we have to watch out for the children..no matter what you think the reprocutians may be to you as an adult. Had that neighbor reported that incident this could have been provented!! Don't turn your head when you see something like that PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't!!
TBM...I feel you. I am a product of something like that. My mother beat me into darkness at the age of 3. Praise GOD I lived to tell the story. She was in an abusive relationship and her boyfriend forced her to put my sister in an oven and turn it on. Praise GOD she was saved. But I will admit it was more important for her to have a man rather than have a child. To this day she continues to apologize and I have to tell her I accept the apology but the scar will always be there. Take comfort in knowing she is in HEAVEN and she has touched our lives directly and indirectly. Hug your children and never stop telling them you love them.
Anonymous...A while back I commented in one of TBM's post that we needed to go back to the Village raising our children and if I am not mistaken you were against that. But here you are asking why some of the people in the village didn't do anything. I guess because the village felt it was the parents responsibility. Sound familiar?
We need to stop being bordeline and start protecting ours as well as help our and call out those who are out to harm and hurt.
I am so sick and tired of this crap!!!
Sean said...
I am a product of something like that. My mother beat me into darkness at the age of 3. Praise GOD I lived to tell the story. She was in an abusive relationship and her boyfriend forced her to put my sister in an oven and turn it on. Praise GOD she was saved. But I will admit it was more important for her to have a man rather than have a child. To this day she continues to apologize and I have to tell her I accept the apology but the scar will always be there. Take comfort in knowing she is in HEAVEN and she has touched our lives directly and indirectly. Hug your children and never stop telling them you love them.
Sean, thanks for sharing this - I always remember the horror I felt after reading in "Black Boy" about the horrific beating Richard Wright suffered at the hands of his mother at the age of 4 (which nearly killed him) - I think the issue of child abuse in the black community (undoubtedly linked to slavery) is a topic which needs to be seriously addressed...along with racism, it's probably at the root of a lot of other social problems affecting black folk.
This is Anonymous who was at the funeral for a 3 year old girl yesterday. A 3 year old who was savegly beaten at the hands of a grown man. This other Anonymous who knows Fateh and is posting (the same posts I might add) wherever she thinks people will read it and defending (even though you say you aren't) what your 'friend' did to little Nevaeh has some damn nerve. It was not the 'responsibility' of the neighbor to report something (it would have been the 'correct' thing to do but not her RESPONSIBILITY). By the way, that neighbor did not swing the hammer, that neighbor didn't throw the baby across the room. Her telling may or may not have changed the outcome. Social Services is so backed up, the report could have just now been responded to. Do you have children? Because when I check on my children in the evening I don't turn on the light, I don't check them for bruises. I have no reason to, and Shay did not suspect her boyfriend of hurting her child, I am sure she didn't either. When the child woke up, the assumption was that yes she was sick, but was she so sick that she had to go to the hospital? The reports say her brain was swollen and her pancreas torn, where would those bruises show up? Should Shay have also ran the child through a CAT Scan? No. She had no reason to believe the man she loved would hurt her child. When she figured out the child was SERIOUSLY ill she took her to the hospital. By the way, how do you know that your precious friend/monster Fateh didn't forbid Shay from taking Nene to the hospital for a period of time? How do you know that? I'm sorry sweetheart, your friend is a monster and had no right, reason, or justification for beating that girl until she was unconcious. He is a crazy animal. You'll have to plead his case elsewhere.
*The Person who saw the dead baby as a result of your 'friend.'
How theoretically the mom could have missed this until 2:00 pm.
Everyone keeps talking about how Shay must have had something to do with this because their children don’t sleep past 8 or 9 and because why didn’t she notice bruises, why didn’t she this, why didn’t she that. . . I am a mother of three girls and a typical Sunday for me goes something like this:
My oldest (5) will wake me up and ask to watch TV around 8-9 (depending on how late she was up)
I’ll hear my middle daughter (1 ½) playing in her crib around 9:30
My newborn is in the room with me.
I’ll get out of bed and get my middle child and bring her in the room with me and my oldest will watch TV until I cook breakfast (around 11)
If it were me, the first reason I may not notice my child is sick is because she is in bed. . . obvious, it seems. . . if she is sleeping late - - well, last night was Saturday and she stayed up late so she is probably tired, I’m not gonna wake her.
When she finally gets up and I get to her. . . she has pajamas on, I’m not thinking, “lemme lift her shirt and check for bruises.”
Now, if I happen to notice she is throwing up, the first thing I think of is, hhhmmm, what did she eat? I don’t think - - “Oh my husband must have beat her almost to obliviation let me run her to the hospital” If she continues to throw up, that is when I would think further action is necessary.
If I noticed that she was having trouble breathing, the first thing I do is not RUN TO THE HOSPITAL, it is to get her fast-acting inhaler, if it doesn’t help THEN take her to the hospital by ambulance.
The point to this WHOLE thing is that,
1. No one walks around thinking the person they trust their kids with would beat them savagely; therefore you don’t live your life like you expect it. (i.e. Immediately checking for bruises upon returning home, figuring that because she slept late she must have been beaten, or unconscious etc. etc.)
2. NeNe had no visible bruises on her face the bruises were probably discovered upon the removal of her clothes. (Again, your not going to check for bruises if you don’t suspect anything)
3. When Shay discovered there was a serious problem, guess what she did - - She took her child to the hospital. That was the correct and the best thing for her to do.
4. Did she make a poor choice of man? Yes. . .did she expect it would cost her daughters life. Hell No.
Who’s responsible for all this?
The man who swung the hammer.
Thinking Black Man, I hope you don’t mind this long post. I just don’t like it when people skirt responsibility.
No Justification.
Anonymous Again.
No-
I don't mind long comments or ANY comments. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!!!
Please feel free to say what you want. Everyone!
Usually I add my thoughts when people leave comments, but it seems that I just put all I had into my original post. For my original post to be caught by folks that actually knew this little angel, and at least one who went to her funeral- I'm just grateful for peoples thoughts.
The first "Anonymous" that seemed to be trying to justify or spread the blame for this heinous crime, left even me speechless. I decided to hold my tongue for a little bit before I commented on her...
But, no - long comments are great! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
TTBM
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I can't believe that there are men like this in the world, I have a 10 month old daughter at home her middle name is heaven. Someone needs to do the same thing to him and worse. If your not strong enough to be by yourself and you would rather be with a MONSTER, then do not bring children into this world. If someone ever hurt my child they would never take another breath again.
Hi I would like to thank you for sharing this with the world. I am actually Nevaeh's cousin. She lived in my house before she and her mother moved with Fateh. I wasn't able to read all of the comments but I do deeply appreciate the prayers that have been sent out we truly need them. I'm still dealing with her terrible death to this day not to mention I was the one who went in the funeral home to do autopsy pictures for her case at the age of 15. I hope that women will learn from our tragedy and don't allow a "monster" to take another one of our innocent lives. Once again thank you all so much!
-Faith
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