31 August 2006

You are NOT the father...

I've got this little television set in one of the cabinets in my office. Sometimes during the day when things slow down or I need some background noise, I turn it on. I'll check out The Judges: Judy, Mathis, Joe Brown - one of them ALWAYS seems to be on for some reason. And one other show ALWAYS seems to be on - Maury Povich.

I have to admit, I can't just listen to Maury because I always have to turn and look at the fools that he has on his show. The Baby-Daddy Drama, The Lie Detector Drama, The Transgender Drama and the I-Used-to-be-a-Nerd Drama. I mean - there is a never ending stream of non-sense on this man's show.

The in your face foolishness aside - The Maury Show format brings to light that there are some people with serious problems - sadly these problems usually end up with children not knowing who their real fathers are and women that KNOW their men are cheating on them, but for some reason need to come on national TV to be properly humiliated.

Seeing women [most of whom are Black] having upwards of ten or more men tested to check the paternity of their children and still finding that potential daddy #10, 11, 12 etc ARE NOT the father - I can clearly see why HIV and AIDS are spreading so quickly through our community. Guys are just using these women and these women are allowing themselves to be used as nothing some than semen dipositories.

I find myself scratching my head over these women that come on Maury's show crying and saying, "I found lipstick on his underwear! I found a used condom on the floor of his car! I found pictures of naked women in his wallet! There were dozens of women's numbers in his cell phone! He smells like sex when he comes home late from work! "Maury I think he might be cheating on me but I don't know!" These women are serious too! They THINK he MIGHT be cheating. Really, how stupid do you have to be to not see the writing on the wall? And, when these guys fail the lie detector test - these women fall out, scream, roll around the floor, holler, pass out - and Maury, not one to spare these screaming women one ounce, he follows them to the back still reading results, "We asked him if he's slept with more than 50 prostitutes and he said, 'No.' The lie detector showed - that was a lie!" It's horrible, mindblowing, twisted and darkly amusing all at the same time. I find myself lost when I try to understand what would make a person humiliate themselves like this in front of 1o million people?

With the Baby-Daddy issues - I've somehow managed to realize that the trouble sign is when they show a picture of the child next to the accused father and the mother jumps up and starts yelling, look at my baby's big-assed ears, and those big-assed lips, and that big-assed forehead - just like his father... "and Maury, both him and his father have the same little penises!" {This is actual stuff that is said VERY often on the Maury set!} These nasty descriptions of these little children are often the rantings of a desperate mother that has no real clue as to the identity of the baby's father. And 80% of the time, Maury says, "You are NOT the father!" And these women too, fall our, roll around, scream - yadda yadda. Give me a break - PLEASE!

And last but not least, there are the people that used to be nerds in high school and got teased and they want to come back and confront their former tormentors. The thing is - the former nerds ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS come back as one of two things STRIPPERS or TRANSGENDERS! I swear! The women come back, usually blonde and pumped full of silicone and collagen and they have names like "Tootsie" or "Pasha". They prance around the guys that used to torment them wiggling their butts saying, "Don't you wish you were nice to me back then?" I damn near pee in my pants when the guys go, "No! I don't regret it! I was 14 years old! Give me a break - we were just kids!" These folks look so stupid when the guy says that - I just crack up!!! But, deep down I feel sorry for these people that have to drastically alter their bodies and sell themselves as sex objects to find a way to feel better about themselves. Just once I'd love to see someone come on and say, "I used to be teased as a nerd, but now I own a plumbing company, I have two offices, 12 trucks and 21 employees. My husband is a great guy and we have three beautiful kids!" Just once I'd like to see one of these ex-nerds say, I lead a respectible life, I'm heathy and happy, and I'm doing great - so, kiss my butt!"

But um, I know there are far more important and intelligent things to blog about... but Maury was on my mind - so I figured what the hell.

And our lie detector tests shows, he's telling the truth!



Evia said...

TBM, I AGREE!! Some of those folks on Maury are off the charts!

As a man, you may not realize this but most men out there don't turn down ANY chance for sex--even with some of the women on Maury! I would not bet anything that Maury himself would even turn it down if any of those women offered it to him. That is, if he figured he could do it and not get caught.

It's amazing to me that in this day when sex is so plentiful and easy to get, and there are so many terrible diseases out there--that so many men will do practically ANYTHING to sex just about ANY woman--no matter how undesirable he may try to act like she is.

I, and no other woman I know or heard about of any age, shape, or race has ever experienced ANY man who turned it down. Maybe, I'm wrong about this, but I don't believe it. I know from my own experiences as a single woman how eager that any man I met was to hop into bed with me and he didn't know anything about me. And these guys lacked any health concerns and would even say they would do ANY sex act--if they thought that would entice me.

So, it would just probably be unbelievable to you how quickly the typical man out there will sex a typical woman and he doesn't know or even want to know anything about her and won't wear a condom in a lot of cases UNLESS she insists or gives him an ultimatum.

Also, there are a lot of women of other classes, races and nationalities who are having a lot of sex and a whole slew of abortions, but there is no evidence because there are no children and they don't go public with their sexual activity. For ex. it's well known that a lot of women in the suburbs do a lot of bed-hopping, sometimes for money but sometimes just for excitement.

Sometimes, the women who a man thinks are more demure and chaste are having more sex and getting pregnant more than the type on Maury.

The Thinking Black Man said...

Hey Evia-

I was talking to a buddy of mine the other day and we both mentioned how most of the women on Maury that are testing four or more potential baby-daddys are uh, shall we say - far from beauty queens. I assume these women are what we used to call, when we were teenagers, 'community booty.' Just loose girls that will allow anyone at anytime to get some.

I'm trying to think back to when I was single... I'm fairly confident that I was at least descriminating when it came to sex...

Yeah - I was pretty selective when it came to sex. I didn't just hook up with anybody...

Then again, maybe I'm trying to be tactful incase my wife reads this comment! LOL!!!

Native Son said...

Man I could not agree with you more. Some of are people are really screwed up, Maury's show annoys me. I do think that when thesistas fall out on the floor and run around backstage that is mostly staged. If its not staged, we really need to address the mental health issues in the black community. I think these brothas and sistas are fucked up big time. And the losers are the children. Can you imgaine finding out that your mother not knowing who your real father was, brought you on a national tv show for the whole country can see to find your dad. And not only did she bring you to a tabloid boot leg tv show, the first 5 guys the show tested, were not even your father. I couldn't even imgaine that.

The Thinking Black Man said...

Hey Man-

I think about that all the time too! Growing up and wondering what kind of woman your mother was AND what kind of man your father was!!!

Then you'd look in the mirror and have to come to grips with the fact that you started out as nothing more than a booty-call gone bad! Surely, the conditions under which you start out don't make you a bad person or a failure - but they will alway be lingering in the back of your mind!

And then there are those instances where Maury finds the father and he's running around the stage calling the mother a whore and a slut and saying she was screwing half the neighborhood. And then he's mad that he's the father before declaring that he takes care of all eight of his kids!!!

Maury is like a car wreck - as ugly as it may be... it's hard to look away!!!

Dave said...

I randomly found your blog and have to say it's funny stuff and definately true. I work in the entertainment industry and the majority of so called 'reality' TV is most often staged for effect, including shows like Maury. They're coached to behave that way because nobody wants to watch a woman be told some guy isn't her 'baby's daddy' and sit there and go "oh, well i'm sorry for the confusion". It makes for boring television.