Always tryin' to look hard...

I just got back in my house from running to the store and I have a question.

"Why in the Hell do so many young Black males try so hard to look angry and scary all the damn time?"

As I was turning onto the main street in my area I see an approaching car with right-of-way, so I let it pass. As it gets closer I see that there are four young Black men (in their mid-twenties) inside. The windows are down and two of them are looking in my general direction. I throw a nod to them [the way some of us guys say, 'hello'] and I notice that they are looking right at me scowling - their faces are tight and twisted like they're ready to fight me! I see this caveman-like behavior all too frequently from young Black males.

I just want to know why? I mean why, do these young males want to look so hard; like they are ready to fight to the death at a moments notice? Like no one in the WORLD is supposed to look in their direction? Is that supposed look manly? Look tough? It doesn't - it looks stupid, anti-social, and primative - it looks like these fools have no proper upbringing and no common decency!

Let me just go ahead and put it all out there since this is my damn blog - White Americans [for the most part] don't look at Black people as intellectual equals. Many whites believe that Blacks are just not as smart as them. Even the ones that act nice and friendly and sweet - deep down believe that they are smarter than 99.9% of Black people. This is a challange that I always try to stand posed for. Whenever I feel that my intellect is being challenged because of the color of my skin - I step up! I step up with knowledge learned from books, from lectures, from school, from friends, from family and from life - and I put those who doubt me in their place. And I don't do it just for me, I do it for all Black people, I do it to put anyone who doubts us,on their heels! This is the fight I prepare for.

The guys I saw in the car today are the same kind of guys that are probably looking for any reason to physically fight somebody. Step on their tennis shoes - they fight you! Accidentally brush into them coming into a store - they fight you! Look at them too long to figure out why they're looking at you - they fight you! They had their hats on sideways, a couple of them had all these damn dreads or twists or whatever-the-hell you call them shooting all over the damn place and they're all frowned up scowling at ME! And I'm just like... WHY? Why all the f*cking anger? Why all the frowning and anti-social demeanor?

I understand that young Brother's want to feel manly, but damn-it - I hate the fact that they come across so damn inhuman about it. Like they want to look so damn scary that nobody is brave enough to great them with a simple, common, courteous - Hello. I believe it is this quasi-hard street mentality that leads to so much violence between young Black males. They spend so much time trying to look and act anti-social that they don't develop true social skills.

Now I'm the one scowling...

TTBM

The Dumocrats...

I vote as a DEMOCRAT.

I don't do it for any great sense of loyalty or because my parents did it - I vote Democrat because it is the lesser of two evils. I don't trust Republicans and I don't believe that they have the majority of Americans' best interest in mind. And I don't mean just Black Americans, I mean any and every American that earns less than six figures a year. I think the Republicans are classists and eliteist and I don't trust them.

However, for every sneaky and greedy Republican we have on the Hill, we have a weak, confused, self-defeating, desperate Democrat trying to figure out which way is up.

So, it comes down to voting for a nasty Pitbull that will rip your throat out, the first chance it gets. Or voting for a fat and sloppy Bulldog, that usually does nothing but is still worthy of a pat on the head and a wipe of its drool.

But, it's time to kick my Bulldog right square in the ass.

It seems as though a Voters Identififcation Bill recently passed through congress, 228 to 196 - strictly along party lines. With Republicans winning. This Bill requires that all voters present legal state identification when they vote in all elections. Considering that there are over 12,000,000 illegal Mexican aliens in this country, I absolutely think that people should verify their legal citizenship when voting in American elections!

The Democrats don't.

The Democrats feel as though having millions of ILLEGAL Mexicans voting for congress and the Presidency will hurt the Republicans and help them! My basic comment to this is, "How f*cking desperate are the Democrats?" They have to resort to manipulating the balance of power between law abiding Americans and criminal aliens who have snuck into our country illegally. Instead of stepping up to the plate politically and becoming a strong and proud party again, the Democrats are stooping to nothing more than common pandering for votes and power.

Lord knows I hate to side with Republicans, but they clearly understand the dangers that voting without ID present in this country. Our entire political landscape could change over night with 12,000,000 votes for either the worst candidate in offices, or for every Latino candidate, or for any number of predetermined schemes or plans.

This is VOTING we are talking about here! Deciding on who sits on Capital Hill and approves our laws and runs our country... and the Dumocrats don't think people should present an ID when making this decision!

Frankly:
I took a book out at the library last weekend - I needed to present ID!
I stopped by the spot and bought some Heinekins - I needed to present ID! I bought some Gatorade and chicken wings and used my check/Visa - I needed to present ID!

It seems to me, that if insignificant sh*t like borrowing books, buying beer and throwing down on chicken wings involves some for of verifying just who in the hell I am, then it seems like choosing a president should warrant at least the same!

Let me, as a voting American tell you Dumocrats how to start winning Senate Seats, and House Seats and Oval Office Seats - You stop acting like a bunch a pansy's scared to call the Republicans out! When the Republicans do illegal, immoral, and unethical stuff, call their asses on the carpet and do it on CNN, CSPAN, MSNBC, CBS, ABC and NBC! You Dumocrats need to stop acting afraid of polls and stats that are spun, reworked and spun again to make you look bad. You need to stop worrying about these dumb-assed undecided voters - fuck them basically - their votes are here today and gone tomorrow, they are naive and worthless. Find your base, reach out to them and say, "I will represent you with unfailing strength and integrity!" The Democrats have not said this since Clinton was in office! You have to reach out to use and make us believe that you are NOT scared of the Republicans, because frankly I think most Democrats are weak, punk-b*tches - scared to stand up to the immoral Republican masses. Show me some f*cking heart! Show us all some f*cking heart!

I believe the votes in this country lie between $30K and $80K a year; between High School grads and the folks with 26 college credits; they lie between the school teachers and the electricans! In other words, the votes to win the major offices in this country lie with the majority of everyday people. Reach out to them and show them your voice and make them believe that you will be stronger tomorrow than you are today! You do this - and AMERICANS will vote for you and you will NOT need to use the votes of millions of criminals.

TTBM

Alternatives - to giving love a bad name...

A few posts ago I wrote about women who give LOVE a bad name. These women allow themselves to be neglected by the men they think they love. These women [and some men] allow themselves to be continually mistreated because they think love justifies the abuse heaped upon them.

Then fellow blogger Evia said...

"I can appreciate that this irks you because it beyond irks me , but can you present some alternatives for these sistas?"

I think the alternatives to allowing ones-self to be another persons doormat, lies within the person themselves.

SELF ESTEEM:
FIRST and FOREMOST women have to get a grip on the whole self-esteem issue! It wasn't until recent years that I began to understand just how big self-esteem is to women. I think women with low to no self esteem will allow men to emotionally dog them and drag them down into the gutter. These women use men and mens affections to find VALIDATION in themselves. Women, please stop this bullsh*t. Yeah, its easy for me to say, I'm a guy. But, my gender aside - I know I am somebody special without a woman on my arm! Look in the mirror and say the same thing about yourself!!!

If you are reading this and are saying, "Oh, you just don't understand. It's hard to have high self esteem..." To you I say, stop making excuses, lift that damn chin of yours up and declare that you are worthy! Say that sh-t out loud 20 times if you need to! But, you have to bring it into being and you have to do it yourself!

And if you find yourself involved with people that want to step on your self esteem once you've built it up - say to them, "I don't need you and I don't need this!"

You don't need anybody in your life that is not holding a watering can and a spade when they come to see you!

Now, let me explain that: See, your self esteem is like a rose bush that you have planted and watched grow for years and years. The people you let into your life have to interact with this rose bush. You will find some that want to clip and cut your blooms and others that just want to trample into it - these are the negative people... you kick these people in the ass and get them out of your life, they do NOTHING good for your self esteem. Then on the other hand, you have the people with the watering can and the spade - they always add some water to the bush's roots and they always sprinkle a little fertilizer at the base of your bush. You keep these people around because they keep your self esteem healthy and upright!

COMPLETION:
Before I got married, I had my fair share of dates. When I wasn't dating or didn't have a girlfriend - I still had MYSELF, a valid, decent, caring and compassionate person. Everyone has to find the qualities that make you a valid person to yourself. Ain't no man in the world gonna' make you anymore valid with his presence than your are without it! This whole "You complete me" bullsh*t that Tom Cruise dropped in 'Jerry McGuire' - it sounded great in the movie and it was real smooth when he used it, but ladies - that was HOLLYWOOD, and you all live in the real world! That concept is bullsh*t, nothing more.

If you are not complete before you meet your man, you never will be complete!

If you are walking around thinking that you need a man to complete you, and then you find a man and you foolishly think that you are complete, and your man leaves, dies or divorces you... you will find yourself in a world of sh*t because now you will be incomplete again. This is why I say the 'you complete me' concept is bullsh*t. Ladies, you complete yourselves! Don't use a man to validate yourself!

NEEDING vs WANTING:
Another alternative to 'Giving Love a Bad Name' is to stop 'needing' your man, ladies. Yeah - STOP NEEDING YOUR MAN!!! No REAL man wants to be needed! We want to be WANTED! When you ladies NEED a man, what you are doing is you are putting your life in his hands. You are putting your physical and mental and emotional essence in his hands and demanding that he not drop you! And when he drops you, you lie there at his feet for him to pick up and reassemble as he sees fit. That's why we see these broken women allowing their 'men' to treat them like crap, they have been emotionally dropped by their men and their men have put them back together in a weaker and needier format built around the man and his WANTS. Thus these women allow themselves to be dogged and to be playthings.

Ladies, if you don't WANT your man, then don't be with him.It IS as simple as that.

How can you tell a WANT from a NEED. Try this...
WANTS make life better, NEEDS make you live.

Example:
You NEED air to breathe, without it you die:
Don't NEED your man, because you may do stupid things just to keep him for fear of emotional death.

You WANT icing on your cake, sweeter cake tastes better:
A good, loving man holding your hand on a sandy beach, makes the beach a little nicer. He accents the beach, he doesn't make it sandy and warm.

The man you WANT will more than likey be a good person and the best person to protect your heart.

Building your own self esteem, being a complete person alone and wanting what is best for your heart will prepare you for the true love you desire and it will show you the power and greatness of love. It will not bring you the abused and painful love of those who know not what it is.

TTBM

What Fathers do...

DOUGLAS MARTIN was a husband and a father of six daughters.

I knew Mr. Martin very indirectly - I may have actually spoken to him 2 or 3 times and I'd probably waved 'hello' to him the same number of times.

On September 14th 2006, he and three of his daughters were swimming near the 78th street pier in Ocean City. With hurricane Florence blowing strong in the Atlantic about the same time, the northeastern US seaboard had been plagued with strong, dangerous riptides. Mr. Martin and his girls got caught up in such a riptide. They were separated from each other and he swam to shore to make sure everyone was okay. When he got there, only his 17 year old daughter had made it back safely. Mr. Martin turned back to the sea and did what father's do - he went back for his children.

It turns out that his 13 year old daughter had been lucky and smart enough to let herself float on her back and get washed out to sea, where she was rescued by an off-duty beach patrol officer. Mr. Martin and his 15 year old, Amy, were found a short time later by the Coast Guard and taken to Atlantic General Hospital where he was pronouced dead on arrival and where she died an hour later.

Over the last few days I have thought about these events for hours and hours. Their deaths reinforce the fact that we have to give love to those around us every chance we get. What was an innocent moment of family fun - a quick swim before dinner - turned to devastating tragedy in only a few minutes. What was a happy family of eight, was in the blink of an eye changed to a grieving family of six. I'm sure that morning Mr. & Mrs. Martin had no idea that that would be their last morning waking up together.

In my mind, I've tried to imagine what Mr. Martin was thinking when he realized that two of his children were in mortal danger. Swimming out to them with water splashing around him, rip currents pulling like strong arms at his whole body, yelling and screaming his girls names. I'm positive that he had no thoughts of his own impending death, I'm positive that he had no idea that the 46 years of life that he had were about to end in a few minutes. I'm positive that his only thoughts were of a life without two of his girls and this is a life that he was swimming frantically to prevent. If they weren't coming back, then HE wasn't coming back.

I know there are millions of fathers who would risk and give their lives without a second of thought to protect their children. But to have actually encountered a man that would be called upon to make that exact sacrifice is humbling. To me, it defines the man. To me, it is the example of what a MAN does, and it is the best example of what a FATHER does.

Rest in peace, Douglas and Amy.

THBM

You Give Love a Bad Name...

I ran into an acquaintance of mine not too long ago. She didn't look happy.

Not that I am in the best shape of my life, but she had noticeably gained weight. Years ago, when she was married, I remember that she had gained weight towards the end when she was really getting emotionally beaten down. It was then that her husband started neglecting her and he started cheating on her and eventually he left her and their child for a white woman. This acquaintance of mine, bucked up though. She lifted her head up and made incredible strides in improving her health, her professional status and became a super mom! I had a great deal of respect for her accomplishments.

One thing stood out though. She always had this 'hungry' tone in her voice when she spoke about her ex-husband. He did some doggy sh-t to her after he left her, real ignorant, unforgivable stuff. Even after he married the woman he left her for, she still had this weird tone in her voice when she talked about him. I call it 'weird' because frankly it sounded like she still had deep feelings for him. After the terrible things he did to her, it made me uncomfortable to hear the hunger in her voice, when she spoke about him. Okay - okay - enough beating around the bush... I knew she still wanted him, and I knew eventually he was going to be having his cake and eating it too!!! I was right.

Now, she's got what she wants. Homeboy has left his mistress/wife and come back to his sister, even though he hasn’t re-married her. And now, she doesn't look happy. She's gained her weight back and she's done some things that have given him tremendous control over her life. If you ask her why, she shrugs her shoulders and mumbles, "Because, I love him."

I can't begin to tell anyone how angry it makes me when women allow men to do some of the most insensitive, unthoughtful, cruel and self-centered things in the world to them all in the name of LOVE. Now, I know some men are stupid and let women do all kinds of dumb things to them too, and they come moping around talking about, "but I love her..." But, by and by with all things being equal, most guys with a ‘set’ will tolerate but so much BS before telling their women, "Baby, it's over. I'm done with this nonsense!" I've had to do this a couple of times myself and it's not that hard to do once the BS gets knee deep.

From my perspective, Women are the major culprits when it comes to letting yourself get treated like crap all in the name of love. These women give Love a bad name!

Love is not a permission slip for people to treat others like dirt. Love does not give one person a free-pass to treat another person like sh-t. Love is not something someone uses to humiliate and degrade another person. Love is not what someone feels when they lie to you, cheat on you, and manipulate you. Love is not what is going on between you and your man when he comes home smelling like women's perfume and sweat. Love is not what you have when your man would rather be in jail than in your arms. Love is not the time you spend in your man's arms crying after he has finished beating your ass. Love is not your man forgetting to pick you up from the bustop in the rain, while he's playing Madden with his boys. Love is not the baby your man made with the girl down the street when he had that week moment in April.

Is my point clear here?

I think there are significant self-esteem issues here. The old dreaded ‘self esteem’ - the main cause for over eating, sleepless nights, suicide, promiscuity, drug use and any countless number of problems that young women have. And here again, the lack of self-esteem causes some of these women to think they need the so-called ‘love’ of these sorry assed guys in their lives. This whole thing makes me so angry.

"I love him, even though he hits me..."
"I love him, even though he cheats a little..."
"I love him, even though he doesn’t know he loves me..."
"I love him, even though he doesn’t talk to me..."

Nothing would make me happier than to have these women stop allowing men to just run them over with bullshit all in the name of love. Damn-it, these women need to stop blaming Love for their own foolishness. Love is a good thing. Love is respect, commitment, consideration and thoughtfulness. These women that say, "My man treats me bad, but I love him," they are doing nothing more than furthering the favorite mottos of other women:

"...all men are dogs"
and
"...men don't know how to be faithful."

For the sake of the millions of men OF ALL RACES that know how to treat our women, stop using love as an excuse for not leaving a loser! Stop claiming to love guys that just aren’t worth your time! Stop using love to wash away the fact that your man treats you like a carpet! Just stop giving love a bad name! Find a way to look in the mirror and tell yourself, "I deserve better."

TTBM

September 11th 2006

Here on September 11th 2006, like many Americans, I can't help but think about where I was and what was going on five years ago today. There's so much about that time that stands out with me and will forever be a part of my memories.

-The second plane flying past the window live on Good Morning America...
-The replays of the second plane smashing into the corner of WTC Building 2...
-The first building falling...
-The second building falling...
-People jumping from windows...
-The Pentagon burning out of control...
-Lower Manhattan in a cloud of smoke and dust...
-The thousands of New Yorkers covered in dust and dirt...

I also remember the images of Donald Rumsfeld at the Pentagon helping to load injured people onto helicopters. I thought it was very decent of the Secretary or Defense to not drive off in his black Suburban, but to instead stand with his people and to help the injured. His political affiliation meant nothing at that time.

I also remember in the days immediately following 9/11, President George Bush was at Ground Zero giving a speech to the recovery workers. Someone far away from him yelled something that he couldn't hear, but he responded impressively by yelling back something like, "I can't exactly hear you, but one thing I can say is that the people that brought down these towers are going to hear from all of us!" My feelings for the president aside, especially after the whole "My Pet Goat" incident, he looked and sounded presidential this day. He looked and sounded like a man that was ready to kick some terrorist ass. And, honestly - I wanted to see some asses kicked after 9/11.

Then the months began to wear on before we finally made it to the Taliban. (Yawn)

Then we somehow ended up in Iraq fighting Saddam, and I was like, "What's going on here?"

Then, shortly after Baghdad fell, when asked about the so far unsuccessful hunt for the 9/11 mastermind, Osama bin Laden, President George W. Bush said in a press conference, "Well, I don't spend a lot of my time thinking about him anymore..." The writing on the wall became crystal clear for me at that moment, and now on 9/11/2006 my feelings haven't changed one bit.

Osama bin Laden will never be captured while Republicans have the White House.

Republicans need fear.

If Osama bin Laden is captured, we Americans don't really get any safer. There are plenty of radicals out in the world that will continue to pose a threat to America. However, there are many people that may disagree with this position. Many Americans would breathe a sigh of relief if Osama was captured or killed. They'd relax, they'd calm down, they'd feel like al qaeda has been shut down, they'll stop being afraid. And the Republicans would NOT be happy.

The Republicans use fear and terrorism as catalysts to get undecided voters to vote Republican! Republicans are MASTERS at voter manipulation. When they need some votes, they roll out Gay Marriage, or Oil Prices or Terrorism! And, who is the poster boy from terrorism? Osama bin Laden. Republicans use him, his image and American hatred towards him as a rally point and focus point when they want to sell the terrorism angle or take peoples mind’s off of the latest Republican screw-up or scandal. There is no way the Bush Administration is going to throw away their ace in the hole while he is so valuable for scaring voters and Americans in general.

So we will continue to be lied to. Bush’s Administration will continue to swear that they are doing all they can do to capture bin Laden. They will continue to put his face in front of us to take our minds off of high gas prices, corporate corruption, redistricting, underhanded lobbying, the eroding environment and our dying troops. They need him loose and on the run.
I say let's wait until late August 2008, right during the run for the White House before Osama bin Laden turns up on a slab in US custody. What a better way for Bush to go out of the White House, than to take Osama out of play for the Democrats?

The twenty third - Number Two Guy...

YES! WE GOT THE NUMBER TWO GUY IN AL QAEDA!!!

Now we can make some real progress in this War on Terror!

No, no... Not Mohamed Hamdi Al-Ahdal. He's the number two al qaeda guy that we caught in Yemen in 2004.

No, no... I'm not talking about Abu Azzam the number two al qaeda guy in Baghdad that was killed in a shootout with US and Iraqi forces in September 2005.

Um, well no... I wasn't talking about Ayman al Zawahiri the number two al qaeda deputy that was killed in a US airstrike near the Afghan border.

Well, see, I'm not uh, talking about Abu Musab al-Zarqawi the dreaded number two al qaeda guy that was blown up on June 7th in a US air strike north of Baghdad.

The uh, dude I was talking about was Hamed Jumaa Farid al-Saeedi, also known as Abu Humam or also known as Abu Rana or also known as Abu H.R. Puffinstuff, who was arrested a few days ago.

I've noticed that we have caught, killed, shot and blown up about twenty three "Number Two Guys in al qaeda" in the last three years! I can't help but think one of two things:

ONE: The absolute worst job on the whole damn planet is being "The Number Two Guy in al qaeda."

or

TWO: The Bush administration is believing its own hype. I say DAMN all these second level bastards - bring me Osama bin Laden's head on a platter. I simply think we are killing and capturing people in al qaeda and we're slapping all these snazzy titles on them because they look good in print. Nobody gives a damn if we blow up Osama's hair stylist, but by the time the Bush crew finishes spinning things, suddenly we have "Al Qaeda's number two man in Doo Doo Poo Poo, Iraq (which is south of Baghdad I assume).

Enough with the number two hype! Let's get al qaeda's number ONE guy, okay! Let me see Osama's ass in handcuffs or stretched out on a slab. But no more of these second tier scrubs. Please.

TTBM

Staying the course...

SOMEONE ASKED A MARRIED COUPLE if they were going to have children. The husband quickly proclaimed, "Oh, we haven't decided yet." The wife nodded agreement with a strained smile. It was then that someone whispered to me with obvious disappointment, "Not to decide, IS to decide." I thought that comment was extremely poignant.

This "not to decide" psuedo-strategy is exactly what President Bush has been traveling around the country and selling to American's with his "Stay the course" approach to the war in Iraq.

To President Bush, he feels as though our troops should stay in Iraq until his replacement takes office. This of course, takes the onus off of him and his administration to come up with an exit strategy, something they should have had before the first bombs were dropped on Baghdad. He and his administration were so anxious to start racking up billions in war expenses and creating the newest War Time President - they never came up with a plan to leave Iraq. Now, he's telling the world that getting our troops home, is not his problem. Still no one is rioting in the streets of DC. No one is trying to impeach this man!

The second part of this Decision Not To Decide - Bush trys to sell this, "If we don't fight them in Iraq, then we'll have to fight them here in the streets of America." This is simply a crock of lies. Our being in Iraq serves no benefit to our country. Our men and women are dying bloody deaths in the sand blown streets of Iraq virtually everyday. Innocent Iraqis are murdered daily by bombs, bullets and blades all at the hands of radical, angry, demented insurgents. They just want us gone and frankly I'm all for leaving their asses alone. Let the Sunni's, Shiites, and Kurds have their own little three way civil war! That's where they really want to fight - I say, lets get out the way!

Since Bush launched this "War on Terrorism" the world has only gotten more dangerous. Terrorists have found the perfect training ground for their bomb makers, snipers, planners, spies, scouts, foot soldiers, etc. These insurgents are killing people everyday with only cosmetic resistance from Iraqi forces and strangled US forces. Our men and women are nothing more than sitting ducks for these insurgents whose killing skills get better everyday. Thanks to President Bush, Dick Cheney, Donny Rumsfeld, Condi Rice, Robby Gonzalez and Karl Rove the world has become more threatened and more vulnerable to terrorism.

Staying the course and deciding not to decide is going to do nothing more than get more of our troops killed, ruin more American families, cost 1000's more Iraqi's their lives and allow countless more terrorists to get better at what they do.

Thanks Mr. President. Thanks for YOUR course.

TTBM