Now we can make some real progress in this War on Terror!
No, no... Not Mohamed Hamdi Al-Ahdal. He's the number two al qaeda guy that we caught in Yemen in 2004.
No, no... I'm not talking about Abu Azzam the number two al qaeda guy in Baghdad that was killed in a shootout with US and Iraqi forces in September 2005.
Um, well no... I wasn't talking about Ayman al Zawahiri the number two al qaeda deputy that was killed in a US airstrike near the Afghan border.
Well, see, I'm not uh, talking about Abu Musab al-Zarqawi the dreaded number two al qaeda guy that was blown up on June 7th in a US air strike north of Baghdad.
The uh, dude I was talking about was Hamed Jumaa Farid al-Saeedi, also known as Abu Humam or also known as Abu Rana or also known as Abu H.R. Puffinstuff, who was arrested a few days ago.
I've noticed that we have caught, killed, shot and blown up about twenty three "Number Two Guys in al qaeda" in the last three years! I can't help but think one of two things:
ONE: The absolute worst job on the whole damn planet is being "The Number Two Guy in al qaeda."
TWO: The Bush administration is believing its own hype. I say DAMN all these second level bastards - bring me Osama bin Laden's head on a platter. I simply think we are killing and capturing people in al qaeda and we're slapping all these snazzy titles on them because they look good in print. Nobody gives a damn if we blow up Osama's hair stylist, but by the time the Bush crew finishes spinning things, suddenly we have "Al Qaeda's number two man in Doo Doo Poo Poo, Iraq (which is south of Baghdad I assume).
Enough with the number two hype! Let's get al qaeda's number ONE guy, okay! Let me see Osama's ass in handcuffs or stretched out on a slab. But no more of these second tier scrubs. Please.