The title of this entry has been floating around in my head for months and for one reason or another, I avoided writing about it. But, two conversations I just had (back-to-back) have forced me to vent [again].
What I'm about to say is NOT a knock on good guys. It's not intended to generalize men, or even the majority of men - it is meant to cast a furrowed brow on bums, scrubs and losers.
Let me put down a few definitions before I get started:
GAME - (noun) the strategic element that bonds and binds men and women in emotional and physical relationships, "The GAME of love should only be played by willing participants."
GAME - (noun) a skill or talent possessed by either a man or a woman that makes him or her desirable, attractive, believable, appealing and/or interesting to someone of the opposite sex, "All of the women love Johnny because his GAME is together."
Okay, now that I've pointed out my two interpretations of the word GAME, let me give The STATE OF THE GAME.
"The game is in bad shape." There, you have it.
Let me explain. I was just told two stories within 30 minutes of each other, and I've heard a lot of stuff lately - but these two have dropped my jaw. The names will be changed to protect the innocent...
I have a friend named, Paula - and she recently traveled to the west coast for a few days on vacation. While there, she met a Brother named James. He took her our for dinner one night and things were okay at first, then he decided to start telling her that he wants to fall in love with her and she's such a special woman. She saw that his GAME was transparent so she went along for a few minutes. He tried to convince her to come back to his house so they could 'discuss' their loving future. She told him that their love would flourish better if they waited. Needless to say she came on back home to DC a day or so later. He called her the day after she arrived and started telling her that DC was the kind of town he wanted to relocate to. Then he hinted at moving in with her and proceeded to tell her that this 'big check' he deposited in the bank wouldn't clear for a few days and his car note was due. She quickly told him that he'd be okay, and his exact quote was, "So you ain't even trying to offer a brother anything." She said no and he proceeded to tell her that it would help him out a lot if she'd run down to the Western Union and just send him $100. She basically hung up on him. How lame is this guy? I mean really - he just met her a few days earlier and now he's BS'ing her about moving to DC, and falling in love - as long as she can loan him $100. Guys with ZERO 'game' tend to shoot themselves in the foot with their own stupidity. He's trying to present himself in a way that might get him some sex, but at the same time he's showing that he is a broke, begging, busted, bum! Why even insult a woman's intelligence like that. What he's telling her is, "You're not smart enough to realize that I'm playing you for a naive fool that will open both your pocketbook and your legs to my lame rap."
Now for the second story, there is a woman named Renita, who for years gave men a hard time. She always said that God would send her a man when he was ready for her to have one. (Note: women, if you happen to pray for a man, make sure you ask for a GOOD man) So, she meets this guy, an African fellow that has no job and for some reason she believes that he is The One. They get married and homeboy develops this big dollar mindset when it comes to his spending. As the debt starts to build, he gets a job in Newark, NJ. So he spend his weekdays and nights in New Jersey and comes home on Friday for the weekend. Well, this goes on for awhile and then Renita gets a little suspicious of her man. It is soon discovered that her husband has a girlfriend/lover up in Newark that keeps him company when he's away from home. So, they are now set up for divorce proceedings. My thing with this is not so much him being a low down dirty dog, it is her overlooking the obvious trouble signs. Now, I know sometimes folks lose their jobs, but as a man - if I can't take care of my own business, my bills, my money and my living space, then the LAST thing I should be doing is trying to start a relationship with someone. I just think a man has to be able to step up and be accountable and responsible and... uh, GAINFULLY EMPLOYED!!!! So, my issue here is with HER, if this guy came to her empty handed, then he was showing her what he had to offer. NOTHING!!! The cheating issue is not to be overlooked by the way, but I think its a by product of this guy not taking Renita seriously enough in the beginning of their relationship. Ladies, please keep this in mind, don't be so quick to rush into the arms of a man bringing Champagne wishes and caviar dreams. Look deep at the game before you leap into the ring!