24 July 2006

Where are the manly men?

When I was a teenager, in the 1980's, it was important to me [and my buddies] to be a Manly Man.

Please note that I didn't just say, "to be a man" - I said, to be a MANLY MAN.

I lifted weights so my body was muscular, I kept my hair and mustache trimmed neatly so I always looked dapper, I always walked with my head up and my shoulders squared, so I looked strong and ready, and I never did anything that would be considered [even remotely] feminine or girly. None of this took any particular effort, because I was a boy/young man and it just came natural and I didn't really believe I had any girlish tendencies, so - I was just ME. A young man, being manly.

But, this weekend I saw a teenaged boy, a young Black kid, about 16 or 17 and he was wearing a "Rugrats" backpack. It was a bright yellow backpack, one of the new small backpacks just big enough to store a small lunchbox. By the way - RUGRATS is a cartoon that is popular with 5 to 7 year old kids. He was wearing this backpack and chillin' like nothing was unusual. I tried to get his attention so I could ask him why he was wearing a 6 year old girls backpack, but I didn't have a good opportunity. Sure, somebody might say, he was wearing it because he likes it - my retort would be, why does a 17 year old boy like a 6 year old girls backpack? Why is he avoiding the call to be a Manly Man?

Here are a few more examples of young males, more specifically our young Black males seeming to try and avoid, duck and dodge, what I personally thought was a natural desire to be a Manly Man:
  • A few weeks ago, I noticed a young Brother, probably in his late twenties wearing a big red Snoopy backpack. To me [please note I said, TO ME] this looked rediculously childish.
  • The rapper Cam'ron is trying his damndest to make pink the next black among young Black men. There are lots of photos around of him in pink leather, pink fur and pink outfits. Please Cam'ron, quit trying to confuse our young men into thinking pink worn as promanently as black or blue is manly. It is not. They, and you look like damn fools.
  • This weekend I saw this big hulking dude walking down the street with these two huge afro-puffs in his hair. He looked like a 6 foot 4 inch 400 pound Mickey Mouse Club reject.
  • This one isn't an everyday event, but we've all seen it - in the rough and tough sport of football you always seem to have the Brothers that score a touchdown and the first thing they start doing is prancing around, wiggling their asses, and fluttering about in the endzone. This is one of the most manly sports in the world, and yet you have this crazy number of guys that do something big and the first thing they want to do is prance around like a bunch of Frilly Kansas City Showgirls!

Look - I can go on and on, but I won't. The point I'm trying so windfully to get across is - I feel like there is a strong undercurrent within the Black community to emasculate our young Black men. Okay - sure, I'm not the fisrt person to say that, but I do think this emasculation transends the violence, abandonment, and self loathing we see so much of. I think this process is as clear as day in the way that so many of our young men carry themselves in their daily lives.

First there were the earrings, old school guys frowned upon this fad, but for some reason it blew up in the early 90's - almost all the brothers had to have one. Then the baggy pants hanging off the ass phenomenom kicked in. Ex-cons brought this beltless, drawers showing habit into 'the hood' and it spread like wildfire. I have heard a million times that the flagrant homosexuals behind bars use this style of pants wearing as a sign of their open-ness to sex. Again, this is what I've heard. But for some reason, the homeboys liked the look and embraced it with vigor. Then the braids and cornrows and twists all these different hairstyles popped up on every damn corner in our neighborhoods. I'm not what I would call old, but damn - I have an old school attitude about this, all these twists and braids and shit are GIRLY! There is nothing manly about having your hair all made up with beads and clam shells and colors and all this kinda' crap. It is amazing to me that these poor guys think sitting down on the front porch and having their sister pick their hair out and then braid it up nice and pretty is manly. Guys - your hair should NOT look cuter than your girlfriends.

Now, I'm not saying that every man with an earring, or braids or pink dress shirts is gay or effeminant - but what I AM saying, is that over the last 20 years there has been a significant watering down of what it means to be a MANLY BLACK MAN. A large number of our men are embracing practices and habits that were not too long ago, clearly regarded as feminine. From clothes, to jewelry, to mannerisms, to the desire to look 'pretty' - many [not all] Black men, don't seem to have an ounce of desire to be manly. Just a few years ago - we thought that being MANLY meant being tough, strong, and rugged. Now, we have THUGS that carry guns instead of using their fists, we have BABY DADDIES that abandon their children, we have young males that want to express their individuality by wearing the same braids and white T-shirts as 90% of their contemporaries. I hope this trend is reverseable, I hope Manly Black Men come back in style and all this desire for pretty hairstyles, pink tennis shoes, showing off of underwear to other men, and wearing 2 karot earrings fades away and we see our strong Brothers come back to the fold.

PS> (I read a comment on another blog recently about this phenomenon, and I loved it. It went something like this: "A Christian minister said to his congregation, 'Black people, we used to have hard-working men and pretty women, now we have hard-working women and pretty men. Men, we have to get ourselves together." )



tickledpinkies said...

Ha, Im afraid I think men look quite fetching in pink :p

One one hand I understand why some men, black and white do it because it does get you attention off certain (many) females. I was quite amused when I was in an african american hair message board (Im british) and saw a load of black guys discussing how to get waves in their hair. This guy was really stressin out because hed been trying for a year and he still couldnt get his wave on, lol
Im not attracted to this kind of guy usually but I know other girls who are and praise usually girly features, there is evidence that girls like slightly androgenous type of face. Apparently theres different times that a woman seeks out a girly man and a manly man but I forget....

I think its fair for men to pretty up if they want to as women have an advantage in that arena of making themselves look different. If they look ridiculous thats their prob like women who try too hard.
I also dont think its to do with self loathing. Some guys are just so far up there own asses they cant stop looking in the mirror all the time, some just are reacting to the power that young girls have when choosing a guy. Exactly like when women go out and get something, even surgery to look the way they THINK or hear young guys want them to. If young girls suddenly stopped giving attention and chasin' pretty boys tommorow they would change their style.

Similarly, manly men (50 cent style) who have big chains around their neck, newest car around, most expensive clothes you can buy but they live in a teeny tiny appartment in serious debt are more laughable to me.

P.S: Im ashamed to admit it but I love the "oops my pants are showin'" look :P
P.P.S: I have a penchant for braids on men too. Not that I seek to go out withone but It does look purdy! I think when Siqo got BEADS at the bottom of his braids it went a bit too far...
P.P.P.P.S: I love a diamond earring on a man!

The Thinking Black Man said...

So you like the purdy guys, huh?

Well, I never said they didn't get their share of the ladies!

I think it is interesting that you point out how some women like men with androgenous facial features. Just today I was driving down the street and I saw these three young teenage guys walking up the street and one of them was very slim and "andrognous" looking and he had these long braids with beads or something white on the ends and I just said to myself, "That dude looks just like a girl!" The braids and beads just washed anything manly away from him - in my opinion. I asked myself, "I wonder what he was thinking when he left the house yesterday?"

Was he thinking, "I look so pretty." or was he thinking, "I look like The Man." I don't know.

Thanks for the comment - it brought a smile to my face!!!

Stephen Bess said...

I don't have a problem wearing a shirt with pink in it, but I can't see more than two things in my closet being that. :)I guess that it's just one of those things. I was raised by my grandfather who thought that red was a feminine color for a man. He would've freaked out if I got an earring. I feel that the best thing that we can do as grown men is to be an example. Maybe some of those youngstas will take note.

The Thinking Black Man said...

Hey Stephen-

I with you - I own a pink dress shirt and a pink and white tie. I wear it once in a while, and I wasn't knocking the occasional pink - like you said, maybe two items in the closet. But when guys try to make pink a significant color, or they have to look through their earrings to find out which set matches the blue beads in their hair... I worry!

Red, huh? See, Grandfather's are real old school! My Dad is harder on the Brothers than I am!

Thanks for the comment!

Evia said...

TBM, I like to see my husband in pink and lavender because those colors look good on him. He also has longish hair and wears an earring. I don't think men should be hemmed in by wearing somber "manly" colors. That's so limiting! I would think thst most men would be thrilled that some males are pushing back the borders so that men would be freer to have more choices in clothing and hairstyles and more choices in their appearance.

My first husband was an African and I loved the fact that he felt totally comfortable wearing his bright colored ethnic clothes when we went out. Nobody in their right mind would've said there was anything feminine about him.

If a man is a man, it doesn't matter to me what colors he wears or his hairstyle. His manliness will be evident because it's his interior that makes him a man. So many men in this country and some other western countries seem to spend lots of time trying to prove they're men. They can't hug and kiss each other to show affection, don't hold hands, don't sit close to each other, etc, for fear somebody will think they're gay.

I mean, what's the big deal? Aren't ya'll just tired of all the restrictions?

The Thinking Black Man said...

Hi there Evia-

Uh, No - we're not tired of the restrictions. I didn't say a man couldn't wear pink [or lavender, in your husbands case]. But, a man wearing pink as promanently as we where black or blue - yeah, I think that is very strange for a man. Once in a while, who cares - I'm not THAT anal. But a man wearing pink tennis, pink fur coats, pink wristbands and socks, yeah I question his manly-ness!

I even said that men with earrings and braids were not "gay or effeminant" My point was not to insult your husband, my point was to show that the once widely accepted practices of manly men have been watered down, and even washed away with some guys. And frankly, I think a lot of guys care too much about looking pretty and primping and preening.

One more thing - and I'm saying this with full respect to you, so please don't think I'm trying to be a wise ass... But, you are a woman, and you've never been a man, so my point my be hard to get completely across to you because you've never tried to be manly, you've never seen the world through the eyes of the testosterone driven male perspective. But I feel that I can make my statement with utmost confidence - there are a lot of us guys that look at being manly in different terms than some other guys.

BTW - I do own a pink dress shirt and a lavender one! Until this E-Mail, I thought it was my purple shirt, but I think it is lavender. My wife, too, likes to see me in them... but I don't have pink shoes, socks, hats or scarfs; I wear a belt because I don't want other men to see my Haines briefs; my ears aren't pierced - and if they were, I wouldn't try to match my earrings with my outfits; and if my hair was longer, I wouldn't try to make it look nicer than my wifes.

Thanks Evia for your comment - I appreciate you taking the time to add your thoughts!

tickledpinkies said...

A bit off topic but you made me think of all the stupid fads in England that black boys used to do, Im sure I must've thought they were "cool" at the time.

My Asian friend just brought up a classic when the boys used to, if they were exited for some reason make gun signs with their hands and yell out "pop,pop,pop,pop,pop,pop!". Hoping from one foot to the other, you would have to see it to believe it. This Black guy went into Uk Big Brother and when he came out he got booed a bit so he did what only a 23yr old university educated Black man can do... Pointed into the crowd and let out a "pop,pop,pop,pop,pop,pop!" LMFAO

Another id the socks over trousers phase which was about 6 yrs ago. Boys would wear some hiking boots, thick sports socks stretched over the training pants to just below the knee. Plus the Black guys would have these hooded jackets designed for survival in the North Pole which would have a bit that would zip up past your nose and the top would toggle down so the only thing you could see were eyes. These guys would wear this getup even if it was the hottest day since records began!

You get on the bus in the summer and pass by Three Stumps (place whereby youngsters with ghetto mentality can meet likeminded souls and "chill") you see all these guys with black coats on, hoods, black leather gloves, black hats, balaclava and masks, sweating like theyre under pressure. You just wanna tell them its ok, you can take it off and we wont think any less of ya, lol

The Thinking Black Man said...


You've got me cracking up here!

I hope a lot of this foolishness is just a passing fad. I halfway don't believe that it is, far too many older guys still do a lot of this silly childish stuff. It's like some guys in their 30's and 40's still run around here doing silly childish things! I just want to tell them to grow the "F" up! Act like a damn man, NOT a 12 year old kid!

As a Black man, a significant portion of society has a negative predetermined opinion of us. I know its not fair - but facts are facts! We have to work that much harder to be taken seriously, especially in the workforce... the workforce that goes beyond dropping fries and flipping burgers and mopping floors. Not that there is anything wrong with those jobs, but in order to break the cycle of lower class income, we have to get jobs making more money, so our kids will have better opportunities and their kids will have better opportunites as so on. They way to get these jobs and these opportunities is to demand to be taken seriously. How do we as Black men make this demand? We do so by FIRST taking ourselves seriously, and presenting ouselves as serious, intelligent men.

(Hmmm, I'm very wordy today.)

Thank you for the laughs and for the comment!!!

tickledpinkies said...

Thats anjother lonnngggg conversation I could write forever about. However I like to look at it in a more general way to start off with focusing on social class. I think Black boys in particular need more sensitive help but concentrating on the expectations and treatment of poor working class pupils at school would benifit minority groups.

In general (in Britain anyway) middle classes of any colour get treated whith more respect by the majority teaching population. Some people feel they will be giving their identity up by conforming. I knew white middle class ("dream") pupils who came to school basically smart (we had a choice of certain colours but had no set uniform) but when away would look completely different! Black eyeshadow, chains, Baggy trousers, platforms you name it. Even if a middle class student dresses down they still have the body language, vocabulary and manners of that ilk which gives the cultural capital. If ya poor, dont dress smart, dont talk good english and sit slouched back its obvious no-one will take you seriously.

The thing that puzzles me is how many people are paid (tens of thousands) in this country to figure out education objectives, prevent high figures of teen pregnancy ect... But they cant come up with the types of Ideas that we do on a f**kin blog. Maybe you need to know this life to find solutions, its very frustrating when white upper/middle class men try to plan campaigns aimed at the black community, Grrrrr! Its not about being a certain colour, its about knowing about struggle. Not interviews and surveys, you have to feel, breathe and taste it to start figuring out solutions for a group of people.
I believe an outsider can do all these things but It takes a LONG time not just percentages on a piece of paper. Although I have met people who try to help black or poor people they often sympathise from the outside instead of feeling compassion which ultimately gets you no-where.

Even the BLACK representives lucky enough in this country to be in a position of power cant come up with decent strategies.
Trevor Phillips Head of the commision for racial equality suggested last year that Black boys be taken from the rest of the student population and taught seperately. Now I dont know what you think about that(!) but I wont say anything as I dont want to swear too much on this post.

*sorry I write forever, I just like your topics
P.S: Do you think theres any blame on the parents when it comes to looking lax. Is it too much to teach your son to sit up straight and dont go to an interview with patterns shaved in your eyebrows?
I remember at school I wanted my nose doing because all the other black girls did and my mum and her friend said "do you think anyone will be lookin' to employ you with a rhinstone in your nose?" and that was the end of that!

The Thinking Black Man said...

Hey TickledPink-

I love your comments and thoughts!

It's funny that you mention parents in your PS, because I was thinking about them as I was reading your comments.

While we have people here in Maryland trying to do the same types of things, special programs and incentives for Black kids... yadda yadda yadda, I think the real onus falls onto the parents.

Oh - before I forget, let me share this with you and see what you think... "In Washington DC, there is a program that pays [yes, pays as in cash money!] 9th and 10th graders to go to summer school for courses that will better prepare them for the coming school year." I think they get over $5.00 an hour (or whatever minimm wage is) and on the news they interviewed a lot of these kids and most of them said they were only coming for the cash. My first thoughts were, "Give me a break! If this program was offered when I was a kid, and my mom or dad said, "You're going!" Then I was going! No questions asked and I would not have had to be paid either!" But, after I thought about it, I sort of thought it was an okay idea. First - it gives the kids some spending money and may keep them off the streets and away from the temptation of drug dealing; Second - hopefully most of these kids will really learn things and be more inclined to stay in school and make better grades; Third - if DC can find millions for a new stadium, then it should be able to find a few hundred thousand to help motivate kids to learn; and lastly - I'd rather DC spend this money now, trying to educate these kids instead of spending it later to incarcerate them!

But coming back to parents - I think all of these wonderful plans these "experts" come up with are totally useless unless they are reinforced by mom and dad, or as far too many Black kids know...Mom and Grandma. I was blessed to have my mom and my dad under the same roof and they pushed me and encouraged me to learn and be respectable. Without this kind of support and reinforcement its very hard on our kids.

As far as taking Black kids out of the mainstream to teach them separately... you know how I feel about that! Utter, freakin' lunacy!!! Or would you all say, "Utter, bloody lunacy!"

PS - What is your blog address, I can't seem to link to it when check your profile?

tickledpinkies said...

Im afraid I have to disagree with you to some degree on the paying kids to go to summer school. Because it is only a temporary measure and doesnt last all the way into the school year the majority of students would fall bk into old habits once the real school year started.

To aim high, succeed and get a decent relatively high paid job from a working class background once you leave school you have to go through financial struggle and hardship in order to achieve. Just doing in for the money in short term will just create more money oriented kids who want cash for nothing and we got enough of those.

Initiatives need to start way back in 4-5th grade. The grades where when you ask a little Black boys what they want to do they see themselves being a doctor or policeman then theres a weird transition period between leaving for secondary school where they lose all ambition.

Theres a school in London that focused on building up the self esteem of Black pupils and theyre grades rose by significant proportions. Plus the guys that I saw (dressed in all the "ghetto" garb" were saying they were on theyre way to being an architect ect which was lovely to hear.

And obviously its something t do with the parents but I dont want to be talking all f**kin night. Ill be bk agen!
P.S: I have only considered a blog recently as someone told me I should write one but I havent started yet. Im not sure If Im confident enough but Ill try :)

The Thinking Black Man said...

Hey TickledPink-

I think your blog would be great! Just reading your comments on mine makes me want to read your thoughts on your ow "dot.blogspot"

You have a good point about the habits this program might create. I'm very curious

Hey TickledPink-

I think your blog would be great! Just reading your comments on mine makes me want to read your thoughts on your own "dot.blogspot"

You have a good point about the habits this program might create. I'm very curious to see the future of the students their grades and their motivation.

You made me drift back a little ways down memory lane talking about the dreams of fourth and fifth graders. I used to day dream all the time about being an astronaut, an architect, a pro football player (for the Pittsburgh Steelers), I wanted to be a soldier, an airplane pilot and yes a policeman and fireman. Then in high school I got a little more focused and wanted to be a journalist or program director at a news station. I'm none of the above oddly, but I do have a job I love, I'm well paid, and I've got my own office with a great view. So
I make it a point to acknowledge that I'm blessed, and I've been blessed with good schools, good teachers and great parents.

I too love to see and hear our young kids [especially our boys] with high self esteem and desires for bright futures. I think programs designed to build their self image are absolutely outstanding!!!

Bravo London!

tickledpinkies said...

Hi just wanted to tell you Ive started my own blog now, thanks for the encouragement. Feeling incredibly doubtful at the moment as Im not that confident with my own writing but Id like you to drop by :)

Luv Sam xx

The Thinking Black Man said...

Great! Great!

I'm gonna check it out ASAMF'nP!

I'm glad you started it!

Blackhoney said...

Your comments about men with braids brought back memories for me.I posted about this on my blog a few weeks back and all hell broke loose.

I said then as I say now, it is all a sign of not wanting to grow up.Men wanting to look and act like children so they will never have to face adult responsibilities.

These men are eternally trying to be young and hip and cool.... a by product of the rap generation if you ask me.

Native Son said...

I feel you on the braids and twist; some of the brothas I have seen have very intricate hairstyles that I would rather see on a female. I really don't understand the corn rolls with the seashells or beads. My sister used to wear her hair like that lol I know some afro centric people will argue that braids and corn rolls is self expression and is related to our ancestors and our heritage. But to me it is not professional. That’s just my take on it.

Now I don't see anything wrong with the color pink. I have several pink dress shirts, but that’s about it. The baggy jeans have to go, what I don’t understand is how parents allow their children to dress that way. What really annoy me the most are these little boys who have their hair out, just long and flowing. There use to be a time that if your hair was out, you were on your way to get it re-braided. But some of us have adopted this as a hairstyle

The Thinking Black Man said...

My Sista' - I am bowing before your devine wisdom!

Reading your link, all I could do was shout, "Preach, Sister! Preach!" I'd have to type all night long to give you your props for that one! It was absolutely magnificient!!!

Anyone reading this - please, please, please click on BlackHoney's link above!!!

Get your eyes opened, Brothers!!!

The Thinking Black Man said...


Yeah- I've caught a little heat over the pink shirt issue. I'm cool with pink shirts! I've got a nice one with this pink and white tie... (I got it from the K&G on 410!)

The point I was trying to make about pink was guys that want to wear it like most of us wear black or blue. I've seen guys trying to pull off wearing pink converse tennis shoes, pink wrist and head bands - lavender pants. Just stuff that seems to step outside the realm of manly. I personally can accept guys with a flair for colors, but some things are just over the top to me.

As far as the seashelled braids go, I've been out quite a few times with my kid and passed guys with these frilly hairstyles, only to him him ask, "Is that a lady, dad?"
What do I say?
"No, he's just a girly man."
"No, he's a man-child."
"No, he's just rebelling against the image of the manly Black man?
or my favorite...
"No, he's just trying to confuse everybody."

That's the one I like the most!

Sean M. Crawford Sr said...

I have a lavendr suit, a couple pink shirts and quite few other colors in the wardrobe. Almost anywhere I have worked I have been known for wearing colorful and unique styled shirts. And basically it has become something people can identify me by.

Now when it comes to this not everyone can pull off wearing stuff like that. My wife and children think I pull it off well because I can match pants and blazers well with whatever shirt I might be wearing (if a blazer is required). Call it a former model type thing.

Manless...I don't think I am. I am very confident and comfortable with who I am. And trust if I am tested and it is required...mess with me and I will put dat ass to sleep. I mean let's be real. I am not out to push my manhood or manliness in anybodies grill but unless you are oozing gayness what does what you wear have to do with your manhood?

As hard as some of us work we do deserve to be able to treat ourselves and primp ourselves too. My grandmother always told me to step out looking my best at all times. Now Camron' and some of the others like 50 I am wondering because you could come off all thug and be all soft on the inside.

I knew some gay guys like that. If you are from here and grew up back in the day...does the name Pocahontis ring a bell? Look like a dude you wouldn't want to fight but soft as charmin.

All in all it is the fashion of today but to each thier own as long as you don't bother mine.

The Thinking Black Man said...


First off- If YOU have a lavender suit... then Brother, you are One Bad Dude! I can't touch you Bro!

I think you and too many others are harping too much on the pink shirts. Please don't miss my forest by staring at that one tree.
Folks are hot about that damn pink shirt issue - I say to everyone! Wear the damn shirts - PLEASE!!!

My point is that these young men wearing little girls backpacks, colored beads in their beautifully styled braids... the guys that push their sisters out the bathroom so they can primp and preen and make sure their earrings match their socks... the guys that are so afraid of being fathers to their children... the guys that deliberately pull their pants down to their crotches so the other 'boys in the hood' can see their underwear... the guys that wear Afro-puffs in their hair... these are the guys that have killed the manly man. These are the young males that are ushering in the androgynous Black man.

These are the guys I was blogging about! Not you and your colored shirts [ I have a pink shirt, and a lavender one too!!!] Nor was I talking about men that want to look their best - keeping yourself looking good is NOT an unmanly thing. Now, a man that takes an hour to "do his face every morning..." I worry about him. But, if you can pull off a lavender suit or a pastel orange suit - then more power to you brother!

But check out the forest, not just that one tree!


Rock said...

I say everybody (everybody), mm, scr'w the masses
We only want 2 have some fun (I only wanna have some fun)
I say do whatever we want
Wear lingerie 2 a restaurant
At least we ain't got no gun, U don't have 2 run
-- DMSR, Prince


Your very narrow definition of manliness is not only very western and Bush/cowboy-like, but a part of the problem in our world today. Did you vote for Ronald Reagan? He probably fulfilled your dream of what a real man is. Some kids think the only way to live up to your manly expectations are to act hard, cut school, get in trouble, and at the extreme, carry weapons and hurt people. Let kids be kids. They either grow out of it or maybe their just burgeoning gay (and that's okay) men. You probably haven't been to many other countries where social standards for what it means to be a man are much different. I imagine, the native "dress" of real men in other parts of the African Diaspora would make you uncomfortable to observe much less to wear yourself.

And that's just sad.

The Thinking Black Man said...

Hey ROCK, what's up?

Nice intro with the DMSR lyrics, very nicely placed.

Let me do this point by point:
Maybe my definition is a little cowboy like. Maybe. But I'm not sure why you're jumping on the Republican tip - I'm kinda' lost about the Bush and Reagan comments. I'm not a Republican, I didn't mention Republicans and I don't find either of them particularily manly or unmanly. I think you were trying to be witty so here's your laugh HA! HA! HA! beyond thatm I'm not even gonna' touch on that one. But, you keep on hating the GOP - I don't like them either, so fight the power Brother!

You said, and I quote, "Some kids think the only way to live up to your manly expectations are to act hard, cut school, get in trouble, and at the extreme, carry weapons and hurt people. Let kids be kids." I think that is one of the most absolute foolish things I have ever heard an adult male say!!! So, you want to just turn your fucking head while our young kids carry guns, break rules, fight each other, kill, be thugs, fuck up in class... so they can just "be kids" are you out of your mind?!?!

THAT is exactly what you are saying! "Uh, Duh... just let da kids be kids, yo." Give me a damn break, please! Those things have NOTHING to do with being a MAN, they have everything to do with being a hoodlum and a potential liability to the Black community.

As far as traveling goes, I know other cultures have different standards of manliness - but see I live in America! I'm going by OUR standards, okay. OUR STANDARDS! OUR CULTURE! OUR SOCIETY! At no point in my blog did you see me talk about OTHER CULTURES, so if you want to play point counter point, come stronger than that. If I was in another country right now, I might be wearing a loin cloth, a silk robe, sandals and a turbin - but I'm not over there, I am right here in Washington DC! Wearing a cotton shirt, gold cuff links, a silk tie and Kenneth Cole shoes. It is what it is.

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